The Knapp Family's Adoption Journey

Hope Is Fading

2011-11-01T13:10:00.000-04:00

Orphan Awareness Month is happening right now. Would you watch this 3 minute video and just listen to what the Spirit of God might be asking you to do?

Don't squelch His voice. Don't listen to the lie that says "it's not my calling." The world is telling us to buy bigger houses, newer cars and better clothes. And our country just spent over $1.23 Billion on Halloween candy and decorations.

There are 150 Million Orphans in the world today that should trump what the world is telling us.

Listen to His voice.

Hope is Fading – Orphan Sunday from Allan Rosenow on Vimeo.

What does love look like?

2011-10-14T11:03:00.000-04:00

What does love look like?

It is a woman walking on the a busy street in Ghana stopping to pick up a crying baby left in a bush.

It is a family surrending the comfort of America and moving to a third world country to be available for the needs of orphans who may not have a chance to survive.

It is a wife and mother sitting in a mosquito infested hospital room with a little girl whom she has grown to love so that this little girl can go begin her life with her forever family.

It is a couple donating personal resources for a family living overseas to be able to fly home for the holiday season.

It is a community of people gathering and providing 90% of the costs for an International Adoption during a hard, economic time.

It's a friend sending a text 3 times a week saying "press on, you can do it, He is faithful."

It's brothers and sisters praying and begging God to provide a way.

It is a friend and mother of 7 kids offering to accompany you overseas to help you bring your child home.

Most importantly, it is a man...fully God, fully man. Leaving the throne of heaven and coming to earth. Experiencing all of our emotions. All of our struggles and hardships. Facing death head on for all of mankind.

Jesus, I don't have to ponder what love looks like. You have shown us the way.

9 weeks

2011-09-14T22:33:00.000-04:00

So of all the options we were hoping for the third one was not the best option. And unfortunately, that's the one we got. So our case has gone under the umbrella of "administrative processing" for the Visa for Julie's passport. 9 weeks ago the McIntyre's showed up for the Visa Interview. The passport was taken as well as all of the adoption paperwork. We've dialogued back and forth with the Embassy and they just keep saying they need more time to complete it. Frustration is an understatement but our hands are tied. Fortunately, Juliana is being loved and cared for well. She is growing, talking up a storm and able to do lots of new things since I was there in April. Our prayer is that we will rejoice in God's perfect time. There are so many different ways to look at it, but we will remain hopeful and obedient.

Soon, Julie.

We love you.

Mommy and Daddy

In 5 hours...

2011-07-10T22:56:00.002-04:00

It's 10:30pm here in Michigan. In Ghana it is 2:30am and our baby girl should be sleeping soundly. In 5 hours, the McIntyre's will be driving Juliana to her Visa Embassy Appointment. What does that mean? Well, basically, this is it! All of our adoption paperwork and court rulings are complete. The last and final step before we can go get Julie happens tomorrow. Debbie has to bring Juliana before a U.S. Embassy agent at 7:30am Ghana time with all of our adoption paperwork in order and Julie's passport. The end goal is to get a Visa stamp in Julie's passport which will allow her to enter the United States once we bring her through customs on U.S. soil. There are 3 possibilities of what can happen tomorrow:

1. The Embassy Agent can find all of the paperwork accurate and present and proceed with our case. He/she would at that point tell Debbie to return this coming Friday, July 15th, to pick up the passport with the Visa stamp in it. At that point we could book our flights to go get her!

2. There could be some sort of unforseen problem with one of the documents that needs to either be changed/corrected or redone. The Embassy agent would at that point reschedule our appointment for another time.

3. There could also be an investigation regarding our case if the agent finds that necessary to proceed.

I/we have gone through so many different scenarios in our minds as to how this could unfold in just a few hours. I believe without a doubt that God is going to bring sweet Juliana home. And in the past week, I have been learning a new way to pray that is changing me [thanks Paula!]! God always knows what we need when we need it. At church this morning, we were brought to the text Proverbs 20:24 "A person's steps are directed by the Lord. How then can anyone understand their own way?" Essentially, I can imagine 100 different ways in which this might go down tomorrow...but Juliana's steps home are directed by the Lord. She is his child first and he is giving us the privilige of being her family during our time here on earth. How could I possibly understand his way? He does everything in a mysterious and glorious way. If we had brought Julie home already, we would miss out on so much of the mystery.

So Miss Julie...no matter what happens at the Embassy tomorrow you're still our daughter. And God will allow us to be together whenever he sees fit. Be good for Debbie and Edward in the car! And make sure you shine that beautiful smile for the Embassy agent...it just might do wonders! :)

One Year!

2011-06-30T15:14:00.000-04:00

Just over a year ago, on June 9th, our baby girl was found on the side of the road abandoned in a bush.
This was her fragile body when she arrived at the McIntyre's in early July.

Praising God for Doctor's, Nurse's, Medicine, The McIntyre's, Patience, Hope and God's mircaulous intervention on his precious child's behalf! This is Julie today!

"Why did you adopt?" My new answer.

2011-06-26T23:18:00.000-04:00

We used to get asked this question all the time? When we began the process of bringing home, our now 4 year old, from Ethiopia, we would hear things out of curiosity like "Why Ethiopia?" "Why don't you want to have more of your own kids?" "You know there are thousands of children in the U.S. that need a home, why do you want to pick a child in another country?"

I thought I used to have all the "right" answers. From reading, education, blogs, and our own personal international travel, I would respond with phrases such as "There are over 147 Million orhpans in the world today. If everyone goes on having their own biological children, the orphan crisis won't stand a chance." "James 1:27 tells us that undefiled religion takes care of the widow and the orphan." And then I even came up with "God, allowed Brian and I to travel to Africa several times in years past and has broken our hearts for the issues of the orphan, poverty, and injustice in that part of the world."

All of my past responses are certainly valid and still true today, but I am learning that I would now add a new layer to answer those questions. This particular layer, without a doubt, is complicated. But I know that it is real. Not because I read it or listened to it, or even visited it. I know it's real because I'm living it. Here is the newest layer to my response of "Why did you adopt? And why are you adopting again?"

Because Jesus is using adoption to show me and my husband our need for Him.

Period.

That's it. I told you it was complicated. And it is. We could go on living life with our 2 girls [1 biological, 1 adopted from Ethiopia] and think we've done it. We've helped the cause of the orphan. We've brought justice to poverty and it's crippling effect in Africa via one child. We've gotten uncomfortable and invited growth for a season into our world. But we cannot escape the fact that God is using the adoption of Ayantu and now Juliana to show us our deepest need for Christ. Our family unit will not make sense to a lot of people in this world. But that is not what concerns me. What keeps me awake at night is questioning my ability to care for the deep wounds and needs of 2 beautiful children whose Mom's had to give them up because of variying circumstances. My husband just turned 43. I am 36. We both work outside of the home. We are tired. Better yet. We are exhauseted. But if we had said "no" to the parenting needs of Juiana, we would have begun to rely on our own abilities to grow our children in this world. With 3, we will be outnumbered. And with 3 very different children, with very different stories, we will forever need to rely on the grace and mercy of Christ to help us each and every day. If we don't...we will fail.

His ways are indeed mysterious. But that is our God. And that is why He had us adopt. Twice!

HOMe Website

2011-06-01T10:44:00.000-04:00

Here's the website for the orphanage in Ghana where Juliana is at:

http://www.worshipathomeghana.org/

2011-05-25T10:25:00.000-04:00

Our little girl in Ghana on Easter!

hi's, bye's and letting go of the pen.

2011-05-09T14:38:00.000-04:00

So, Brian got to skype with Juliana yesterday, on Mother's Day. The connection was a little rough, but he was able to articulate our baby girl saying "hi" and "bye". Amazing! I have to admit that it saddens me to have so many of the "firsts" happening without us. But I am grateful that God is allowing Brian and Debbie to share in so many special moments with Julie. Her life was so fragile and their were times when even Debbie thought she might not make it. I believe God is blessing their desire to see Julie thrive and grow. He is such a gracious Father!

Julie is doing very well while we wait. We received our I600 Approval early last week. This document was necessary to prove that Julie is indeed an orphan. That paperwork has now been forwarded on to the Consular in Ghana for our last and final step! The Consular will assign us a Visa Appointment for Juliana's Passport. Once we receive a date for this appointment and the visa stamp is in her passport to enter the United States, we will be able to book our travel dates to go and bring babygirl home! Wow. So many friends and family ask the "when" question. I think one of the things that God has been working on with me in adopting Juliana has been about letting go of the pen! As I look back in our process of adopting Ayantu and even in the beginning phase with Julie, I worked so hard at getting all of the paperwork done quickly so "I could push it through". And there were always hiccups along the way that "I tried to fix as best I could." God is teaching me more and more that this is His story to write and in His perfect timing-not mine. There are so many things that He has wanted me to see and be available to and I am grateful that my focus is changing so I that I can be. It's truly incomprehensible to figure out the ways in which God will allow things to happen just to get our attention. Over Spring Break, He used my passport stuck in Washington, D.C. to get me to slow down and let go. And now, He is using the unknown of the Visa appointment to have us live today and be available today to the encounters He wants us to be a part of.

So Julie...keep finding new words and trying with all your might to let go of Debbie's hands to take your first step. Regardless of wether we are there to see it happen, Mommy and Daddy and your sisters are cheering you on with so much love and adoration for you!

Unil soon...

The Body

2011-04-18T15:00:00.000-04:00

The Body of Christ, The Church, is such a glorious and beautiful thing when it is compelled to lovingly serve and sacrifice out of obedience to God. Brian and I have experienced this love in real, practical ways since saying yes to adopting Julie. Here is a list of some of the ways in which people responded on behalf of Jesus to provide for the financial burden of this adoption. There were countless things that happened and I don't want to leave anyone out, but I am not writing these down to glorify people, but rather show how God moves and works through the hands and feet of his bride:

A friend I was just getting to know at work put an envelope in my pocket with a $500 dontaion in it that said "bring this baby home soon!".

Friends who currently have 4 biological kids of their own and were just about to start the adoption process for themselves handed us an envelope with $1,000 cash in it.

A man who only knows me through Costco came up to me while at work and said he was going to donate his catering services for our adoption fundraiser dinner. This man and his team served over 120+ people marinated chicken, a veggie casserole, salad, dinner rolls, mac & cheese and chicken tenders for the kids and dessert...no charge.

Our neighbor and friend who is a Photographer freely captured some of the nights memories for us [davidchandlerphoto.com].

The Starbucks Barista's where I go and get my morning coffe set up a donation cube with Julie's picture at their coffee counter for 1 week. There were 6 Barista's who are all college age ladies willing to donate their tips for the sake of the orphan.

My dear friend Rosa [decorator extraordinaire] offered her services for the fundraiser dinner. She came up with a "Love" theme that beautifully and tastefully brought pizazz to the room the night of our dinner.

On February 6th, 2011, we raised over 85% of the funds needed to bring Juliana home. This was done through people's generous donations, even in the midst of difficult economic times, because they were compelled to love and to serve.

Now, I want you to hear clearly that I am not trying to communicate something that says if you say yes to what God is calling you to that He will then bless you with money. This is Not at all what I'm saying. I am simply trying to capture the beauty of the body of Jesus Christ and what it means to live in community with those around you. God does provide sometimes in ways we would never even dream of.

Below are some pictures from the night of our fundraiser dinner. Such a gift. We are loved.

He knew.

2011-03-22T23:08:00.000-04:00

My mind cannot comprehend that God picked Juliana to be our daughter before either Brian and I were even born. We are so unworthy. And yet He gives us tangible opportunities to experience His love. For you. For me. Below are more pictures of Brian with Julie from his trip in November.

Yes, Lord.

2011-03-20T22:24:00.000-04:00

That night, after we got the girls to bed, I snuggled up on the couch and listened as Brian shared about his trip. It was amazing to think about the reality of what had just taken place. We were informed about a little girl in need of a Mom and Dad in Ghana. We prayed, sought counsel and made a decision to send Brian to Africa to spend a few days with this little girl. He boarded a plane on Wednesday afternoon and then 96 hours later he was back in our living room. Okay!

Now I know I mentioned in an earlier post that one of Brian's gifts is that of networking. He's so good at hearing about a need of some sort and knowing someone, somewhere that can meet that need. During Brian's long flight home, he had many hours to think about Juliana and what he had experienced with her. First thing first-he was in love with her! No doubt! But, he did notice and observe some physical things about Juliana that were a bit "off". Again, Julie was severely malnourished and estimated to be about 9 months developmentally behind her physical age. But what did that mean? Could she gain it all back? Would it just be a matter of nutrition and some physical therapy and we could get her caught up? We realized that there were no certain yes or no answers. But Brian's gifting, another reason why I love this man, stepped up. When he was in the Ohare Airport, waiting for his connection to Grand Rapids, he thought about an old friend of his who does early childhood developmental assesments. He wasted no time as he found Diane's phone number and gave her a call from Ohare. Brian gave her a quick update about the decision he and I were trying to make. He asked Diane if she would be willing to come over for dinner and watch some of the videos he took of Juliana in Ghana and to give us her feedback about some of the observations he made. Diane agreed and in fact she and her husband came over 2 nights later for dinner.

Diane and her husband, Fred, came over for a bite to eat on Tuesday night. After catching up, we showed Diane 15 videos of Brian and Julie together. Like Brian, Diane was in love with Julie! But, she also noticed a couple things that Julie did with her hands and her eyes that were different. At first, she thought she may have shown some signs of cerebal palsy, but then later dismissed that concern. Her overall assessment was that Julie was indeed behind, but that getting her here to the United States would do wonders. She affirmed that because of how young Julie is, she believed a significant amount of Julie's delays could be caught up with intervention.

After Diane and her husband left for the evening, Brian and I started cleaning up the dishes together. I didn't know if it was too soon to ask Brian what he was thinking. I kind of kept quiet for a bit and waited on him. I think we both knew in our hearts that this was never a matter of "is God calling us to do this or not", but rather Brian and Jen "will you be obedient?" Finally, after a few long minutes, Brian asked "are we on the same page regarding Juliana?" I knew where I was at...I was in! But I didn't know how to respond just in case I was way off as to where he was at. So I just went for it "umm, we're doing this, aren't we?" He looked right at me and I could see it in his eyes. Brian nodded his head yes and told me to email the McIntyre's in Ghana right away to let them know that we were going to pursue adopting Juliana!

In the days to come, we would begin one of the wildest rides we've been on. This whole idea of God's, that he would allow and entrust us to care for the orphan, has been beyond our comprehension. Sometimes we sit back and think we're nuts! And then, we're reminded again, that He has given us a choice to be a part of giving of ourselves now...loving others now...being uncomfortable now so that we would become more dependant on Him OR we could sit in our little corner of the earth in East Grand Rapids, Michigan and say "this is it"!

I can't wait to share what God's done in the past couple months to show us and remind us that He will provide and bless our obedience!

It Was OVER!

2011-03-16T22:02:00.000-04:00

Knowing Brian was there safely put my mind at ease. Now, I just had to get through the next 3 days wondering what he was thinking, seeing and experiencing with Juliana. The day he arrived he was greeted by the McIntyre's and was able to stay with them in their home. Joe and Emily were also there. They had arrived several days earlier and had lots of opportunities to love on some of the babies.

I never got to see Brian's reaction to seeing and holding Juliana for the 1st time. But I do know that he fell in love with her immediately and it was over! Remember how I had been praying that God would lead us through Brian and not me...well, don't really think it mattered because either way we would have been sold out!

Brian was able to spend a couple days interacting with Julie. He got to wake her up, feed her breakfast, lunch and dinner. He was able to change her diapers, play with her and really just hold her as much as he wanted. I was told by Emily later that Brian got quite protective of Julie. He would be the 1st one up in the morning so he made sure Julie was able to see him when she woke up! How cute is that!

The temperatures were quite miserable during his stay. I remember it was in the upper 90's but felt more like 110 degrees. Brian also had the opportunity to help with Brian and Debbie's move into their new facitlity for the babies. It was great for him to be able to play a part in that and be able to see first hand what God was doing through the McIntyre's.

On Sunday, his flight back to the States went well. Everything was on time and he was back to our house in the early afternoon. I was at work when he got home. He gracioulsy stayed up with his jet lag so when I got home he could debrief on his trip and share what he was sensing our response was to be regarding Juliana.

The McIntyre's

2011-03-14T15:06:00.000-04:00

So...I promised more information on the couple that has been caring for Juliana in Ghana. I have their permission to share a bit about them as well as their ministry. Brian McIntyre and his wife, Debbie, came to Ghana from Grandville, Michigan! It was a long process for them to get there but they finally did it. Brian and his wife, together, have had a long term heart for foster care and orphans dating back over 20 years. And Brian, who is a Pastor, has had a longing to serve in Africa for some time. Starting back in 2003, God unified Brian and Debbie's passions and began to open the doors for them to collectively establish and support Mercy Ministries in West Africa.

Their current ministry in Ghana is in relationship with the local Police Hospital in Accra[the capital city] where they reside. The Police Hospital receives all of the abandonment/abuse cases of children. They then contact the McIntyre's. Brian and Debbie have established a facility that serves as an emergency placement for these children as well as a hospice for infants and toddlers who have been diagnosed with terminal illnesses. This facility will hold 10 babies ages 0-3 years. They are also working on a second facility that will be a fosterhome for older children.

Currently, they are trying to promote babybed sponsorships, which will provide financial support for the staff, medicine, and food required to care for the babies. Brian is the director, and together, he and Debbie oversee the Children’s Home. They have named it: House of Mercy (HOMe).

If you are interested in more information about West African Mercy Ministries or ways in which you can financially support one of the babybeds
you can check out their website at www.wamminc.org

Amazing, Amazing couple. And am so gratefulto God for them!

Thanksgiving in Africa

2011-03-08T12:31:00.008-05:00

Brian ended up checking with work. The body shop where he's employed was not going to open the day after Thanksgiving. That meant he would have Thursday-Sunday off. Brian checked on flights and was able to find a reasonable route to Ghana leaving the day before Thanksgiving and returning Sunday afternoon. With travel, it would literally only give him about 52 hours with Juliana, but God opened that door and we knew we had to walk through it.

It was hard to begin the process of telling family about what was going on in our lives. And it was even harder figuring out a way to explain that Brian would not be here for Thanksgiving because he was going on a trip...to Africa! As we opened the can of worms to friends and family we definitely experienced some opposition. It was hard sharing the story but we knew God was calling us to speak the truth. Ayantu didn't really understand what was going on, but Sahara did and she was also struggling with Daddy leaving.

During this time, we were introduced to a couple who would be there the same time Brian was. Joe and Emily were from Hudsonville, MI and were going to Ghana to explore the ministry there as well as see if God would also take them to the next step in their family of saying yes to adoption. We met them one night at the mall, prior to both of their departures. Emily had been collecting all kinds of baby supplies to be shipped in a over sized trunk. Brian was only going to take a small carry on so he was able to bring it on their behalf. More on Emily, Joe and their family in an upcoming post]!

So, Wednesday, November 24th the girls said goodbye to Daddy as he boarded the plane for Ghana. He would land in Ghana the following day on Thanksgiving and arrive just in time to enjoy some turkey with the family caring for Juliana! Fortunately, I got a call from Ghana, West Africa, Thanksgiving morning assuring me of my husband's safe arrival!

The next step.

2011-03-05T23:01:00.006-05:00

I remember going to one of the girls I feel safe with and trust in our small group. I spoke with her briefly and asked her to please pray for clarity for Brian and I. She asked why and I told her the scoop on Juliana and shared with her that I believed God was calling us to adopt again. I remember telling her that we may be reading this wrong-that one of Brian's biggest gifts is "networking" and perhaps God's brought this situation to our attention because Brian will know the right people who's suppose to be open to this.

Brian and I connected a few days later. I was off of work that night and sat him down so we could share our hearts. I went first and of course, I was all over the "we're being called to do this! God has this door wide open and it's not even beginning to swing closed." I also remember saying "honey, it doesn't get any more biblical than this"! Then it was Brian's turn. He shared that he didn't know but also had concerns about Juliana's developmental delays. What would that look like for our family? God had already entrusted Sahara and Ayantu to us. Could we be good parents to a third child as well knowing she would have special needs? His objective thoughts were needed and squelched my compassionate heart down a few notches! And then, Brian threw me for a loop! And I could so tell that God was at work in this man's heart!

He mentioned that with Thanksgiving coming up in a few weeks, perhaps one of us could go and spend a few days with Juliana. He said it might be good for us to see first hand where she's at physically and that God might help us make a decision through that trip!

What? Are you kidding me? Okay, this is not my husband! Where did he go? God was changing his heart before my very eyes and I was falling in love all over again! [Sorry for the sap!] I had a huge desire to be the one to go. But as we talked about it, God really impressed upon me that He needed to work this out through Brian and not me. I can often be too passionate about things and not be able to objectively think things through. So I told him that I would stay back with Sahara and Ayantu and that we needed to contact the couple caring for Juliana right away to let them know what we were thinking.

Affirmation with unity

2011-03-04T13:01:00.008-05:00

That night, after Sahara and Ayantu were in bed, I did my "mom" chores and then grabbed the computer to boot it up. Brian was relaxing on the couch so I brought our notebook downstairs and sat beside him. I wasn't quite sure how to bring it up so I did the ole' "Umm, honey, can we talk a minute?" While this question can often be met with a disgruntled response, it wasn't in this case. I was given Brian's full attention and that gave me the confidence to share with him the email from Lindsay.

As I look back on my 8 year marriage to Brian, we both have been pretty conservative and have tried to be good stewards with the resources God has blessed us with. Our adoption journey with Ayantu was definitely a growing season for us with all of the emotional and financial roller coasters it entailed. After reading the email about Juliana, I anticipated Brian saying something like "Well, we should let so-and-so know about her. Haven't they talked about wanting to adopt?" But, that wasn't the case. The unity we shared in at least exploring what God may be inviting us to again was captivating to me. God was not only at work in growing our faith but in our love for each other.

We committed to pray over the next couple days and ask Lindsay to get us in contact with the people that had the information on Juliana. A couple days later, we were introduced to an amazing couple that started a ministry in Ghana working on behalf of babies that were completely abandoned with some or a lot of health issues. Crazy thing is this couple was from Grandville, Michigan! I will write a lot more about them and their ministry in another post. Here's what we learned about Juliana [remember that this information was given to us back in mid-October...it's now 5+months later]:

"Now lets talk about Miss Juliana. We were called by the Police Hospital to take her-no other orphanage wanted her because she had TB. At that time, she had already been in the hospital for 2 months (she had become quite the celebrity there I might add-everyone loved her, from nurses to cooks). She was found abandoned; had been thrown into a bush alongside a very busy highway in Accra, the capital of Ghana. It was near a motel where someone heard her crying. She was near death, so frail, so small. Nurses told me she almost died twice while in their care. We got her at about 10 lbs. Approx. 12-18mo old. She was severely malnourished, big tummy. Her skin was literally hanging off her legs, she looked like an old woman with baggy stockings on. Her hair was brown and very little of it. She could sit up, but she would fall over a lot. She refused to eat anything except rice and only with her hands. She could not eat from a spoon, and she would not drink anything, not even water. The nurses told me that, but I didn’t realize they really hadn’t given her any milk- just bits of water now and then. Unbelievable. She was severely anemic (no wonder). It was a process, but we got her eating from a spoon and drinking milk from a sippy cup. She cannot (or won’t) hold the cup or spoon herself. She can choke easily, so I never leave her while she is eating. She has trouble with some meat, so I cut it up in things or grind it, so she can still get the protein. She LOVES bread and would live on that if I let her.

Julie is currently between 17-18lbs. She can stand and likes to. But cannot stand alone, at all. She cannot crawl or walk and shows no signs of doing so. Julie cannot roll over, however, has made some small effort to begin. We are trying to work with her, doing some leg exercises, etc. He muscle tone is very low. She is not as floppy as when she first arrived however. She came here on August 4th. The name given her at the hospital was Julianna Frema (meaning-long life) Abena. Julianna and Frema were each her nurses so they named her after them. Abena, means Tuesday born girl in Ghana. That is the day they found her. Everyone in Ghana receives a day of the week name.

One of my main concerns is Julie's muscle tone. She really needs to be evaluated and have possible physical therapy (my opinion only). That is not going to happen in Ghana-it is not available so we are doing what we can. But let’s just say, she is delayed in motor skills. She can smile, pick things up, throw things, pinch and laugh. Juliana is extremely sweet. She understands “no”. She LOVES her bath. Loves Baby Einstein. Loves music and she directs with her hands to the beat. So cute. She is able to attach to a caregiver. In other words, she knows us, and prefers us to other people."

As you can see, Brian and I had a lot to process. We both committed to praying about the things we had read and connecting again in the next several days. I was elated though, to know that Brian had not showed me signs of closing the door of adding another child to our family yet!

How it all started.

2011-03-03T12:36:00.007-05:00

Back in early January of 2009 we were preparing to depart for Ethiopia to meet Ayantu and bring her home. On our adoption agency's chat board, I posted a comment to let others know when we were departing and if any one's child was at the same orphanage as Ayantu that we would be happy to take pictures of their kids. We got THIRTEEN responses. From Colorado to Wisconsin to Alabama to Hudsonville, MI! I connected with the family from Hudsonville as the Mom, Lindsay, came out to Costco a few nights before we were leaving to have Brian and I give her 2 boys a photo book of her family. I felt a strong connect with Lindsay right away...but little did I know what would happen!

We left for Ethiopia and were able to love on Lindsay's boys, Chala and Jonas. They were in the same room as Ayantu! Upon our return to the states 10 days later, I called Lindsay to let her know her boys were well and I had some photos for her. I saw Lindsay one more time when she came to pick up the memory card of pictures. She travelled with her husband, Brian, a few weeks later to bring their boys home too! I never saw Lindsay again, but we found each other on facebook and would comment every now and then about our kiddo's and the changes and growth we were going through.

Advance 9 months later to October 2010. I was sitting down catching up on some emails one night and saw I had a message on facebook from Lindsay. I don't remember the subject line, but the content of the email was used to bring us to where we are today! Here's what it said:

"Hi Jen!!

We sponsor a new orphanage in Ghana and we just received word that the Ghanaian social welfare has agreed to release 1 of the little girls for adoption. Her name is Julianna and she is 18 months old. We have agreed to prayerfully make contacts for any one who may be interested in adopting her. For whatever reason, God put your name on my mind. If you know of any Christian families who would be open to adopting this little girl, will you let me know??

She is gorgeous. I have pics if anyone wants to see them!

I hope you are well.

Lindsay"

When I read the email, I never even thought that God might be inviting Brian and I to do this again...so soon! We hadn't even been home with Ayantu for a year yet. So, I sat on it for a couple days before I even brought it to Brian's attention. I must have read the email a dozen times as I prayerfully tried to process what God was doing. Two days later I read a post on a friends' facebook status that said "it will always cost you something to be obedient to God". That night, I knew I had to share the email with Brian.

A minor update!

2011-03-02T14:14:00.004-05:00

It's obviously been way too long when I look at my last post and see the beginning of school. I always wondered why when parents finally got their kids home and the adoption was complete that their blogs suddenly fell off the face of the planet? Now I know!!

For those of you that only follow our blog, we have some very exciting news to share! No we're not pregnant...but we are adopting again!! In early October, God brought a beautiful little girl to our attention in Ghana, West Africa. Her story and our privilege to watch it unfold over the past several months have been nothing short of a miracle. I told my husband the other night that I want to write a book with him. His response: "I can't write!" My thought is that through my blog, perhaps I can recap the journey we've been on since October as I share Juliana's story. Lord willing, we will have her home within the next couple months? So I guess I better get writing!

School Days

2010-09-22T21:34:00.006-04:00

Ayantu started Preschool this year! Oh my word...she loves it!! We decided to enroll her in 2 mornings a week this year to help build upon her language and then we'll do three days a week next year. The first day was a little rough for me and her saying saying "goodbye"! But now I pull up to school, Ayantu sees her teachers waiting outside for the kids, she grabs her bag and says "bye Mom"! I have to beg her to turn back around for a kiss and hug! I can't believe how good this has been for her! She is meeting new kids, learning to share, and building more confidence in herself and her abilities! Her first field trip will be in a couple weeks to a local dairy farm. I told Ayantu she will be going to see cows on her field trip and then asked her what cows say? Her response: "WOOOOO"!

Love this kid! Keep it up Ayantu! We are so proud of you!

Remembering

2010-08-29T21:59:00.008-04:00

I can remember years ago wondering if I'd ever be married, let alone have a child. And now our oldest is turning 6! Yesterday, we celebrated Sahara's 6th Birthday a few weeks early. Her real birthday is on September 7th, which happens to be the first day of school this year. So, we opted to celebrate early...and celebrate we did!

Sahara had 9 girlfriends over in the early afternoon for a treasure hunt. Twelve clues throughout the house led Sahara and her friends to her birthday present: a trampoline! The girls had a riot jumping and laughing for the next hour.

After Sahara's friends left, family and other personal friends came over for dinner. Both Sahara and Ayantu stayed on that trampoline most of the night bouncing with whomever would join them! Brian worked so hard getting that thing built before the party. I know that watching his girls made his hard work so worth while!

Sahara, we've been so blessed to watch you grow into the beautiful little girl you are today. We're grateful for your heart for others and that you aim to know and love your Heavenly Father. May you grow in new ways in year six as you gain more opportunities to trust your Creator!

We love you, adore you and are so proud that you're our daughter!

Mommy, Daddy and Ayantu

The New Pad

2010-08-03T15:22:00.008-04:00

Our new home is a gift from God. I thought that another transition for Ayantu since she's been with us was going to be difficult. Instead, she's done really well. The girls love the back yard with their "pool" in the hot tub! And have probably spent more hours in the water than they have their own rooms since we've lived here!!

3+ Months Later

2010-08-01T21:57:00.008-04:00

Okay...has it really been over 3 months since my last post? When we were in the midst of the adoption journey waiting for our referral, I would often wonder why, when reading people's blogs whom just got home, there seemed to be bigger and bigger gaps between when they wrote. Now I know why!

Life has definitely changed. Ayantu has been home with us for over 6 months. Crazy. And we also moved into a new home about 2 blocks south of where we used to live. We absolutely love the new house. It's a little bit bigger and the girls have their own rooms. Ayantu loves to give people a tour of the house and show them "Tu-Tu's" room! So cute.

Ayantu's language has grown exponentially over the past several weeks. She's so funny too, when she says a new word that she has never spoken before. She gasps for air like it's the biggest thing next to sliced cheese and then waits for our praise! Here are a few of her newest words/phrases: "Petey time-out, Sissy come, time for numa num [food], I wanna come with you, Daddy at work body shop [that's one of my favorites]! Ayantu is signed up for pre-school this fall and will be going in the mornings two days a week. She has also grown up in terms of her ability to be separated from me. At church, she crys for about 1 minute when we drop her off and then plays the rest of the time. When we pick her up from her Sunday School class her response has been "mama, I had fun at church. I played with Lula [one of her Ethiopian friends]. And when it comes to hanging out with Daddy when I'm at work...it's safe to say without exaggerating that she adores him. She jumps on Brian, asks him to rock her like a baby, chases him, and loves it when he tickles her. I am so blessed to see their relationship completely change since she's been home.

The next 4 weeks will be interesting with getting ready for back to school and preparing for Sahara's 6th Birthday. When I think about Sahara turning 6 already and going into the first grade I want to grab right on to her and make her stop growing. God's got stuff for this kid to do and we can't wait to find out what it's going to be. Her heart is so good and she has a genuine passion for learning about God, who He is, how He made everything and most recently the details of heaven. Sahara keeps me on my toes!!

On top of all the good stuff in our home, more friends are bringing home babies/toddlers from Ethiopia. And I have just learned that one of my cousin's and her husband are interested in adoption. I love, love, love to learn and hear about more kids having the opportunity to have a forever family. That was always God's plan.

Hope your summer's going well and thanks for stopping by!

3 Months Home

2010-04-11T21:38:00.004-04:00

Are you kidding me? This Friday will be 3 months since we arrived home with Miss Ayantu. I can hardly believe it. Life as we knew it has definitely changed...but changed for the better!

This little one has certainly found her place in our hearts and our home. She is a busy little girl exploring all that she possibly can. She has currently repeated the entire alphabet on cue from Mama. This is kind of weird, but her favorite letter is the letter "w". She will pick up any book, periodical, card, or even look at the wording on Daddy's T-shirts and find the letter "w". I squirted ketchup on her hot dog tonight with a squiggle and she blurted out "Mommy..."W". Hilarious!

Brian and I realized how smart this girl was when we met her in Ethiopia. But so much so that I now have her signed up for Preschool this coming fall. She doesn't turn 4 until next February so she will be young but Ayantu needs to be challenged more than I can offer her! She will go 2 mornings a week next year and then do Preschool again the following year but 3 mornings a week. Sahara keeps telling Ayantu how much fun school is and that she will do really well!

Speaking of Sahara, the adjustment for her has continued to get better. In fact, I would dare to say that she actually loves her little sister now! Sahara has to pick Ayantu's clothes out in the morning, and at night she gets Ayantu her PJ's. At bath time, Sahara will come in by the tub because she and Ayantu have special games they play with Elmo and The Little People. And when we take Sahara to school, Ayantu will not leave until she gets a hug from "Sissy"! Wow, what an improvement!!

It's hard to fathom being in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia just over 90 days ago. At that time we were nervous to meet this little girl we had only seen pictures of but knew that God had destined for her to become our daughter and a part of our family. And now, 90 days later, it's hard to imagine her not being here. Don't get me wrong, things are definitely not perfect...Brian and I are more tired than we've ever been. And Ayantu can whine and cry [REALLY LOUD] until she gets what she wants. But we're learning, just like we had to with Sahara when she was 3 years old, how to help her know her boundaries and to teach her that she will always be loved, adored and cared for in a special way.

Thank you for following our journey. The road of adoption is not for everyone, but we know it was for us. And we know that God will be faithful in helping us to raise Ayantu as we move through another 3 months!

Releasing

2010-03-20T23:09:00.004-04:00

A friend from work asked me the other day what it was like meeting Ayantu's real Birth Mom while in Ethiopia. She commented that she never saw a post about that encounter on my blog. Well...now's as good a time as any to remember that encounter:

We were on our way to the orphanage to meet Ayantu for the first time ever. Our driver, Sami, stopped at the orphanage's main office off campus so that we could first meet Ayantu's Birth Mom, Rahel. When we got to the office, Rahel wasn't there yet so we all sat down. We allowed the two gals travelling with us to sit in on the meeting. Within a few minutes the door to the office opened and in walked this beautiful young woman with a chartreuse, velvet dress on. She would only look down at her shoes and I knew in an instant that it was her. Through the translators we were introduced and given the opportunity to ask her questions. I began to get nervous but sat down right beside her and then clutched Brian's hand. We started by thanking her for the hard privilege she was giving us in raising her beautiful daughter. And then we asked why she chose her name. Rahel commented that the name was actually chosen for her. She went into labor with Ayantu in the village she was cleaning. The people that helped deliver Ayantu picked her name and Rahel stuck with it. It means "a gift from God" in the Oromo dialect of Amharic.

As we continued on with questions, I noticed Rahel gaining courage to lift her eyes up and actually make eye contact. I wanted her to feel safe and loved. Brian shared with Rahel that in America, Ayantu as a female, would have every opportunity to pursue and fulfill her dreams. He then asked if she had any dreams or hopes for her daughter as she grew up. Rahel's response after pausing was "that is now between you and God". It was if she had already in her heart moved on. When Rahel said that I teared up badly but didn't want her to see it.

When our conversation was over, we hugged her, thanked her and let her know that Ayantu would be raised, loved and honored as if she were our own daughter. She smiled and we were able to get a few pictures to share with Ayantu some day.

As I think about Rahel, 9 weeks after meeting her, I can't imagine the pain she must have in her heart knowing because of poverty she had to give up her own daughter. This was definitely not God's intention for families to be broken. But without the option of adoption, Ayantu may have never had a mommy, daddy and sister to love her like she does now.

Dear God, would you please begin the healing process for Rahel. Would you give her the courage to deal with her emotions in a healthy way. May she find friends in whom she can confide in and feel safe with. And most importantly, may Rahel know you as her Heavenly Father whom loves her and still has a beautiful plan for her life.

Bubbles & Chalk in March!

2010-03-09T09:26:00.008-05:00

Yesterday was a great day. It was 50+ degrees in the 2nd week of March. After school the girls busted out the chalk and bubbles on the back deck. Next up...Spring!

Back to work...

2010-03-02T13:00:00.004-05:00

Tonight I go back to work for the first time in 8 weeks. Feels crazy. And it sounds weird to say but I am actually refreshed. The last week+ some real positive things have been transpiring in our home among the girls as well as just feeling like we're almost at a "new normal".

In addition to that, I have been spending more time reflecting, listening, and praying. I feel re-energized and re-inspired for the reasons I'm here. Although it will be very hard to be away at nights from the family, I know it will be good for Ayantu to have to learn to depend on Daddy for lots of things that she relys on only for me right now. Brian and I have struggled the last 2.5 years during the adoption process finding time for "us" as well. We are going to need to be very intentional about making a date night once a week...even if it's on the couch chatting at 11pm when I get home!

On another note...Sahara told me this morning that she wants to begin praying about adopting Ayantu's best friend in Ethiopia who is still at the orphanage waiting for a mommy and daddy. When she shared that, it was a statement that came out of no where, so I know that she had really thought about it. Wow. How amazing to have her share her heart like that despite having such a hard transition in the beginning of becoming a big sister! I didn't know how to respond except to just say that Mommy and Daddy would pray along with her about it!

Looking backward...looking forward

2010-02-21T22:20:00.008-05:00

It's hard to believe that Saturday was 5 weeks since we've been home. We've seen, felt, experienced and tried to learn so much. I thought I'd capture a few snip-its of the good and not so good stuff so far:

When we arrived home with Ayantu to the United States, and more specifically to our house, she was quite reserved and did not want to portray something to us or others that was "un-loveable". Now, she is quite comfortable with letting us know when she is not happy, scared, has a boo-boo, or just plain frustrated.

In Ethiopia at the orphanage, the Nanny's told us that Ayantu only spoke two words the entire 6 months she was there. Since home, here is her current English vocabulary: "mommy, daddy, petey, sarah[sahara], debbie, holley, elmo, dora, hi, bye-bye, potty, pee-pee, poo-poo, apple, banana, more please, thank you, costco, pretty, boo-boo, and yummy"!

The first 3 weeks+ were very difficult both for Sahara and Ayantu to find a common ground. Ayantu was used to lots of kids both older and younger around her and in her space. Sahara, on the other hand, has been an only child for 5 1/2 years. Not an easy transition. We have shared this struggle with others and asked some specific friends to pray. This past week we have watched the girls begin to enjoy one another. I think Sahara has come to the conclusion that Ayantu is here to stay and has begun, on her own, to reach down to her level. It's not perfect...there are still plenty of sibling outbursts and wars, but we are witnessing improvement. Praise God!

Ayantu's expansive willingness to eat "anything" in Ethiopia really took us aback. We thought we were going to have the food thing be easy. But the tables have turned. We're not exactly sure why, but since being home, Ayantu went from eating absolutely anything to eating only protein, bananas and rice. She literally would prefer to eat turkey, sausages, beef, chicken and more turkey all day long. Not sure about this one. I've tried so many different snacks with her but she has refused them all. The girl can say "no"!

If there is anything Brian and I have come to know thus far...it's that we don't know anything! Surprisingly, as frustrating as that is, it keeps us centered and constantly asking God for help. And boy do we need it. We love our Ethiopian diva and hopefully she will begin to trust and realize that our love for her will never go away!

Playback...4 weeks ago

2010-02-14T22:49:00.001-05:00

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

02.11.10

2010-02-11T09:39:00.002-05:00

Happy Birthday to the newest member of our family! Today, Miss Ayantu Grace is 3!

We love you, girl, and are so blessed to be on this journey with you!

Love,

Mommy, Daddy, and Sahara

Hard Stuff for me

2010-02-08T09:14:00.004-05:00

Of all the things you think will be hard once you bring your child home I didn't expect this to be at the top of the totum pole at all. It's not eating, it's not language, it's not sleeping patterns [although the screaming has come close to blowing my right ear drum!]...it actually has nothing to do with Ayantu. It's our bio daughter, Sahara!

After the honeymoon period [2 days long for Sahara], she decided she was not liking this whole sister thing. Yes we expected some of that at some point on the journey. But honestly, this is the hardest part for me. It's not that I expect them to be best friends right away but I didn't expect Sahara to be so angry. The last 2 weeks have been challenging, to say the least, in terms of balancing our hearts for both girls. Sahara is frustrated that Ayantu can't talk. She's frustrated about the whole sharing thing. She's flat out mad that Ayantu likes Elmo cuz' Lord knows Sahara is way too old for Elmo! Of all the tears I've cried since we've been home, 98% of them have been regarding figuring this part out.

With all that said, let me say there have been glimpses of goodness between the two. Sahara wanting to pick out Ayantu's outfit for the day. Sahara asking if she can help brush Ayantu's teeth. They are little things, but they give me hope at just the right time.

We've been home three weeks and at times it feels like it's been three years! We're getting into a rythym and asking God for help...lots of help. Brian, of course, has been amazing. I don't know how the man stays so even keel about everything. I guess that's how God has chosen to wire him because He knew some day Brian would be united with crazy me!

More later...

Just to get the juices flowing...

2010-02-02T22:20:00.011-05:00

Don't try this at home!!

Open air market--largest in Africa!

Spices, teff and pasta.

Chili Peppers.

Chickens for sale.

A beautiful Ethiopian Woman.

Coffee Beans: Ethiopian Bunna!

We are Home!

2010-01-25T21:57:00.011-05:00

It's already been 9 days since we've been home. It all went so fast. And it was all so beautiful. The trip to Ethiopia was amazing. The people were gracious, proud, gentle. To be able to spend a couple days in the country where Ayantu was born was a gift. There is still so much to process and I have a lot of beautiful, inspiring stories to share. Until I have the time to do that, I wanted to post a few pictures of Ayantu while there and during her transition here.

She is doing great. It's almost hard to believe she is doing this well. But I shouldn't have a hard time believing...this is God's gift and unfolding story in our lives. It is His blessing to us. I will try to piece out our days from the trip one post at a time with some pics., but in the meantime...please meet Ayantu Grance Knapp!

It's Time!

2010-01-08T12:59:00.003-05:00

The day has come. It's time to go! I can't imgaine we'll be doing much posting or updating while in country. Although, rumor has it that we can utilize the internet cafe at the hotel we're staying at. If so I'll try to connect briefly. We're staying overnight tonight in Chicago and then depart for Addis tomorrow morning. It will be hard to be in Ethiopia three days without being able to see Ayantu. But this is the way it is. We are going to her orphanage Wednesday so if you think to pray please pray that our emotions will be in tack for our first encounter with our daughter! Pray for the nannies that have taken such good care of Ayantu and have to say goodbye. And pray for the little ones left behind still waiting...

Thank you for sharing the joy of this part of our journey. Brian and I have a lot to catch up on during the 17+ hour plane ride. It's been a difficult road with me working evenings the last 2 years. We've barely had any time together. So, we're looking forward to "re-connecting"!

We can't wait to post pictures of sweet little Ayantu and her journey to the United States!

With love and gratitude,

Jen, for the Knapp's

What do I know?

2010-01-05T16:09:00.006-05:00

So I've been thinking about meeting Ayantu for the first time like crazy. Last night @ work it consumed me. What will her reaction be? I know she knows what we look like from the pictures we sent but, will she like us? Will she want us to be someone else? Will she understand our love for her? What if she freaks and she cries and doesn't want to enter into a relationship with us?

These questions, along with many others have deepened my understanding of perhaps how God felt about me long ago. There was a point in my life when I didn't even really know God existed, let alone that He sincerely wanted to know me. There was a time when I would hear people use language about God and I would run like crazy from having to be a part of that conversation. I didn't get it. I didn't understand His desire to know me and me Him.

These past few days thinking about the possibilities of Ayantu's reactions to us have really heightened my awareness of the ways in which I probably responded to God way back. I'm so thankful that He didn't give up on me. I'm so thankful that He pursued me for so many years. And I'm so grateful that I now have the privilege to respond with that same kind of love and grace and mercy to Ayantu's new journey as a part of our family!

It is finished!

2009-12-17T22:16:00.002-05:00

The last two days leading up to today have been difficult, strange, and frustrating. I just didn't have a good sense about the I 171H document getting approved, nonetheless on time. We needed that document to be approved and then wire cabled to Ethiopia at least one week before our Embassy Appointment on January 14th. I could tell that my Spirit wasn't trusting and I was losing patience with little things around the house.

Today, late morning, I received an email from the Immigration Office processing our document. They said they needed more information on the International Student staying with usbefore they would continue to process our case. I was very frustrated and felt like they should have everything they would need. But at least it was easy. All I had to do was efile a copy of Nadine's passport onto the Immigration Office. I didn't want to waste any time getting this done so I zipped off to Kinko's, had them copy her passport and then efile a copy to my email address. When I got home, the efile was there. Just before I forwarded it onto the Immigration Office I got an email from Jenny Ungrey at Congressman Ehler's office. She told me if I forwarded the info onto her she would assure it would get to the Liason that was helping on our case. So...I forwarded it on to Jenny.

Within about an hour I got an additional email from Jenny with the subject line of ":)". As soon as I saw that smiley face I started screaming. I knew we had gotten approved. I opened up her email and she had informed me that the passport info. was enough for them to proceed with our case and they ended up approving our document!

I can't tell you the peace and relief that this has brought to us. To now know that all of the details prior to our Embassy Appointment have been affirmed and blessed by God once again brought me to tears. Now, Brian and I can focus on packing and preparing a few fun treats for Sahara to open at home while Mommy and Daddy are away getting her baby sister.

Negative!

2009-12-15T13:12:00.004-05:00

Ayantu's TB Test came back negative today! I am so very thankful for the gift of this news. One more piece and we're all set!

Praising God for His unexplainable faithfulness!

Being diligent

2009-12-14T21:12:00.003-05:00

So...it's official. I hope. We are now booked with confirmed seats to Ethiopia. We are departing the States out of Chicago on Saturday, January 9th. We will arrive in Ethiopia early Sunday evening.

It was not an easy feet to get seats on these flights. Everything we could find was waitlisted. Either 2 of us had seats on the way home or only 1 of us. The airfare went down a titch but it was still more than we had expected to pay. But at this point none of that matters.

It feels so good to be able to say that we actually have tickets. Even after passing court it still didn't feel that real. Now, after being diligent, it finally feels tangible. In a few weeks Brian and I will be boarding a plane outbound for Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. And when we come back to the United States we will be accompanied by our daughter, Ayantu. Oh dear Jesus, please help Ayantu to attach with us and love us!

Still no word back on Ayantu's TB test or the I 171H document. We are simply proceeding in faith that those details will be worked out! Thanks for praying.

Questions for Ayantu's Birthmom

2009-12-07T14:49:00.002-05:00

We will have the privilege of meeting Ayantu's birthmom, Rahel, while in Ethiopia. It's pretty amazing and humbling to think about this potential encounter. First and foremost to think that she's willing to do this and secondly to think about what it will take to get her in the area where we will be. She lives in a different city which is several hours away from the main capital, Addis Ababa.

I have put together a photo album of pictures for Rahel that she can keep. They're not only of our immediate family--Brian, Sahara, myself, our dog Petey, Ayantu's bedroom--but also pictures we have received of Ayantu. Can you imagine giving your child up for adoption and never having a memory of him/her? These pictures of Ayantu will be the only photos she's ever had of her.

I've also come up with a list of questions to ask Rahel. Let me know if you can think of anything else that may be helpful for us to know in the future for Ayantu:

1. How did you and Ayantu's birthfather meet?

2. Are there any family medical issues we should know about?

3. What are Ayantu's Grandparents' names?

4. What was Ayantu like as a baby?

5. What made you choose her name?

6. What are your hopes and dreams for Ayantu?

7. Does Ayantu have any other family members alive? Aunt's, Uncles, Cousins?

8. What are some of your favorite things/intersts/favorite color/favorite food? Is there anything specific we can share with Ayantu about you someday?

9. Are there any special community events important to you that we can share with Ayantu?

Hard stuff.

Making progress...

2009-12-07T11:25:00.008-05:00

Craziness

2009-12-02T16:16:00.004-05:00

I 600 A, 864A, I 171H, Biometrics, packing, scrambling, crying, praying...these are the things that have been consuming my time over the past week. We were given a tentative Embassy Date [that is the official appointment in Ethiopia where Ayantu would be given her Visa to travel home with us to the United States] of December 31st. It is tentative for several reasons:

1. Because Ayantu is over 2 years old, she has to have a TB test before she can leave Ethiopia. If the test comes back negative we're good to go. If for some reason it's positive, she has to be treated with medication for several months there before she can leave Ethiopia and come here. We'll be optimistic for the negative result.

2. One of our documents needed for the Embassy Appointment is going to expire in January. We were informed by our adoption agency several months ago to go ahead and proceed with getting the document re-certified in the event that we don't have Ayantu home by January. In doing so, we also had to update our Homestudy so that it reflected Ayantu's current age [she is 33 months old--we originally had on our Homestudy that we were open to a child between the ages of 12-24 months]. This document, called an I 171H has yet to be re-certified by our government. Without it, we cannot travel to Ethiopia. Back when I worked on staff at Mars Hill Bible Church, I had the privilege of working alongside Congressman Vern Ehlers assistant, Jenny Haupricht Ungrey, on some advocacy issues for a people group living in Western Algeria. Jenny was an amazing resource and asset to helping our cause. I just ran into her at Costco this past Sunday [I had actually never met her in person before, just email correspondence] and felt as though it was for a bigger reason than "just running into her". Well, little did I know that I would be calling her on Tuesday to help us try to expedite our paperwork. God is so in the details it's really amazing.

So...that's the craziness. We can't book our flights until we know for sure Ayantu is TB negative and we have our I 171H re-certified. In the meantime, flight prices are going up by the minute. We've found flights anywhere from $2,400 to $7,ooo leaving Christmas Day! Yikes! If you're praying on our behalf, we would be so grateful to have you pray about these specific details. We are so humbled to know that God already has this whole thing figured out. When I allow myself the time, it's kind of fun looking back and watching it all unfold.

That Smile!

2009-11-23T21:41:00.003-05:00

I was so delighted when I checked my email this afternoon. I had a message from a couple that just got back from Ethiopia. They were there early this month picking up their two adopted children. They happened to be at the same orphanage where Ayantu is. They overheard one of the nannies refer to a little girl as "Ayantu". They asked our contact there if she was the Knapp's daughter and he confirmed she was! These dear friends [whom I've never met, by the way] took a bunch of pictures for us! They sent 2 of them in the email this morning and have about 12 more!

When I looked at the changes in Ayantu I started to cry. This was the first time we've ever seen a smile on her face! It is priceless. She looks like she is starting to adapt to the change she has been through being placed in an orphanage. She is also getting bigger! Her face is filling out and her hair is adorable! Thank you so much, Dirnberger Family, for thinking of us and blessing us in this way!

We are still awaiting our travel dates from our Agency. As soon as we hear from them, we will be pulling the trigger on booking our flights!!

PASSED!!!!!

2009-11-19T15:14:00.004-05:00

Praise God! Thank you Lord for your favor in this day. Today we passed court and can now offically call Ayantu our daughter! And we finally can post her pictures!!!!! We will be getting travel details in the next day or so, but will probabaly be going to Ethiopia in the next 4 weeks.

2009-11-18T15:44:00.002-05:00

Dear Ayantu,

In just a few hours it will be morning in Ethiopia. You will wake up in the orphanage and do your usual routine. Only it may not be a usual day. Tomorrow sometime in the morning, your birth Mom has to appear at a court in Addis Ababa and stand before a judge. The judge will hear our case how we would like to become your official family here in the United States. Somehow, your birth Mom will have to find the strength to say that she officially is going to release you into our care.

We are praying for your birth Mom tomorrow. We are praying that all of the paperwork that took us over a year to complete is accurate and there. And we are praying for the judge--that he will grant this adoption. No matter what happens tomorrow, we want you to know that you are deeply loved and adored, not only by us, but by your Heavenly Father that created you. He is watching your story unfold and is holding your hand even now.

We love you, sweet girl, and cannot wait for tomorrow!

Mom and Dad

3 Days!

2009-11-15T22:52:00.004-05:00

Nervous.

Excited.

Tired.

Anxious.

Emotional.

3 Days til court!

365 twice

2009-11-09T23:29:00.004-05:00

Today marks a pausing moment for Brian and I. Two years ago today, I was hired at Costco. We planned on using that income to pay for the adoption. It also marks the two year spot on the adoption journey itself. From the moment we knew God was nudging us off of the "maybe fence" to 365 days twice later, we're about to have our court date.

Pretty surreal.

Very emotional.

Absolutely worth it!

Purpose inside

2009-11-08T09:19:00.007-05:00

I'm quite sure we all at times feel purposeless...like we're suppose to be doing something more than what we're doing. Have you ever felt that before? Even in the midst of doing something great and meaningful...you may feel a tug or a pull that there's something more or different or even more meaningful? I had a wonderful conversation tonight with a great friend who was helping me process the upcoming trip to Ethiopia. Her and her husband adopted a beautiful little girl and brought her home last year December. It was great to bounce some thoughts and questions off of her tonight and have her remember bits of their journey to Ethiopia last year.

In the middle of our conversation, the question was posed "Do you think you'll do this again?" We both shared different responses. But in the end the depth of our response was the same: we both know that God is not finished with our adoption joureny's. The purpose of them, that is! It seems awfully small to think that our God would allow us to go through this very intensely difficult and beautiful process to JUST add a child into your family. Period. That's it! Our desire is to use our adoption stories. And so we wait with open hands and pray for what is left unseen!!

Jeremy Camp's "Desire" is a worship song I have been listening to a lot lately. It's a great reminder about the truth of my purpose in life:

"You want to be real, you want to be empty inside
You want to be someone laying down your pride
You want to be someone someday
Then lay it all down before the king

You want to be whole, you want to have purpose inside
You want to have virtue and purify your mind

You want to be set free today
Then lay it all down before the king

This is my desire, this is my return
This is my desire to be used by you

You want to be real, you want to be empty inside
And I know my heart is to feel you near
And I know my life
It's to do your will
It's to do your will

All my life I have seen
Where you've take me
Beyond all I have hoped
And there's more left unseen

There's not much I can do to repay all you've done
So I give you my hands to use"

THIS is Community

2009-11-01T23:03:00.003-05:00

Since my post on October 14th about Formula for the babies in Ethiopia...here's what we have so far! Amazing! Beautiful! Holy! God has answered my prayer that the suitcase would be overflowing!

Thank you friends, facebook friends and family! You have joined us in blessing someone you will never know!

COURT DATE SET!

2009-10-27T14:42:00.004-04:00

Yipeeeeee! Finally got our court date for Ayantu assigned today! It is set for November 17th! That's just 3 weeks out.

So grateful.

So excited.

So nervous!

So much to do!

Looks like we could be travelling for Christmas.

Recovering

2009-10-25T21:43:00.002-04:00

Sahara had her tonsils taken out last week Wednesday. The procedure itself really isn't that big of a deal...especially when you're young. But the recovery is a bit long and drawn out. Scabs are trying to form in the back of Sahara's throat but it's taking an awfully long time for that to happen. Every morning when she wakes up, the scabs have hardened a bit overnight. When she trys to open her mouth in the morning the scabs crack and cause a lot of pain. It's so cute to listen to her talk now too. The surgeon told us this would change Sahara's speech a bit, but it sounds as if she's just sucked in some helium every time she speaks!

This whole procedure has gotten me thinking about Ayantu even more! If Ayantu's tonsils were terrible and causing her lots of infections and speech problems would she ever have the opportunity to correct that? If she didn't sleep well and even snored loudly at night would Ayantu have the opportunity to do anything about that? We're so grateful to know that as we get closer to a court date we'll be able to answer yes to the questions above. When Ayantu officially becomes our daughter, it assures us an opportunity to be able to help her with any health issues she may have down the road.

Please Lord...we're begging you for a court date assignment this coming week!

Joshua 1:9

2009-10-18T13:44:00.003-04:00

The long, drawn out adoption process has once again beaten us down and become a difficult road to walk. I found myself in tears last night at 3:30 am when I was thinking of Ayantu just sitting there in the orphanage and there is nothing we can do. We thought we would have gotten a court date assigned to us by now but we have not received any news.

But just when we get discouraged, we are reminded of how Sahara is such a gift from the Lord to us. Today, she came running out of her Sunday school class regurgitating a verse she had learned....and it was just what Brian and I needed to hear!

And so we press on...

For the Babies...

2009-10-14T12:57:00.003-04:00

Dear Family and Friends,

Brian and I are slowly preparing to travel to Ethiopia to bring home Ayantu. Nothing is official yet...no dates, but as soon as we pass court things will be moving very quickly. During my free moments when Sahara is at Kindergarten in the afternoon I have been working through purchasing some of the things we will need for the trip when we go. We have kind of come up with a creative way to bless our friends in Ethiopia, specifically the babies. Instead of having a shower for Ayantu, we are going to ask you to purchase one can of Formula for us to take on our trip for the orphanage. There has been a constant lack of access to Formula for the babies. Our agency has asked those of us that bring formula to all bring the same kind so as not to upset the babies tummies with changes from one brand to another.

So...here's our request: would you be willing to buy one can of Similac Neosure Formula? I have included a picure of what it looks like. You can find it at Meijer's for $14.99 or at Target for $14.59. Our prayer is that we would have a suitcase overflowing with Formula to donate to the orphanage.

Hopefully soon...very soon...if you haven't already seen her, we will be able to post a picture of Ayantu on our blog. The day we're able to do that means she is officially our daughter!! Please pray for protection over our house, Sahara, and our marriage as we prepare to travel soon.

Thank you in advance for blessing the babies in Ethiopia!

With love,

Jen, Brian, Sahara and Ayantu

Too small

2009-10-05T22:06:00.007-04:00

The courts didn't open last week like we had hoped. The new expected opening date is next week Wednesday, October 14th. We are praying hard for Ayantu's emotions during this difficult time for her. We imagine she doesn't understand what is going on nor what is about to happen for that matter.

As I reflect and think about what needs to take in such a short amount of time, I want to make sure that I'm not making God too small. In my mind and all of the things I know about God, I know He is fully capable of working out all of these details...and will. But what I need to do is experience His working this out. In doing so I will be able to add more heart knowledge, rather than words, to God's goodness, faithfulness and creative ways.

In the meantime...while we wait...there's plenty to do! House projects are still unfinished! Sahara is getting ready to have her tonsils out on in a few weeks. I'm still working on my checklist for things to bring to Ethiopia. The days are full and seem to go by fast.

I'll leave you with the words of a song God has been using to challenge me:

"What do I know of Holy?"

I made you promises a thousand times
I've tried to hear from heaven
but I talk the whole time
I think I made you too small
I never feared you at all
If you touched my face would I know you?
Looked into my eyes could I behold you?
What do I know of you?
Who spoke me into motion
Where have I even stood but the soil along your ocean
Are you fire? Are you fury?
Are you sacred? Are you beautiful?
So what do I know?
What do I know of Holy?

I guess I thought that I had figured you out
I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about
How you were mighty to save
But those were only empty words on a page
Than I caught a glimpse of who you might be
The slightest hint of you brought me down to my knees
What do I know of you?
Who spoke me into motion
Where have I even stood but the shore along your ocean?
Are you fire? Are you fury?
Are you sacred? Are you beautiful?

What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame?
And a God who gave life it's name
What do I know of Holy?
Of the one who the angels praise
All creation knows your name
On earth and heaven above
What do I know of this love?

Our Responsibility

2009-09-27T22:44:00.009-04:00

ig·no·rant

Pronunciation: \ˈig-n(ə-)rənt\

Function: adjective

a :lacking knowledge or comprehension of the thing specified b : resulting from or showing lack of knowledge or intelligence

There was a gal working a "makeup roadshow table" at Costco last week. She is from California. I had seen her working several days in a row and then she finally made a comment to me in passing. "Is it common that black kids become a part of white peoples homes here in Michigan? I must have seen 3 dozen black kids with white families since I've been here. People just don't do that in California?" One of the sample lady's was working her sample table right next to makeup lady and overheard her comment. Fortunately, she knows our adoption story and began educating makeup lady on my behalf as I had to scurry off and grab some eggs for a member waiting. Boy was I boiling...in fact I found myself so frustrated that I couldn't even look at makeup lady upon my return.

What was going on inside of me?

I have the feeling that was just a glimpse to the beginning of many ignorant comments to come. But it was good for me. As I was reminded, once again, that everyone does not have the same world view. Brian and I are at the place where God has us and we've had the privilege of experiencing the things we have, unlike many others. So, with grace, it is our responsibility to educate and respond with love. Not haste. I'm thankful for these experiences now before Ayantu is here as it helps me to process and prepare.

To more hard work...

2009-09-24T14:20:00.003-04:00

One week from today the courts in Ethiopia are suppose to open back up. We are praying that our case will be submitted in a timely manner and we will be assigned a court date for Ayantu as early as mid-October. It would be so lovely to have Ayantu home for the holidays!

Beauty, sadness and hope

2009-09-14T22:56:00.005-04:00

The other day we received some new photos of Ayantu. Some new friends from Grandville, MI travelled to Ethiopia last week to pick up their 10 month old son, Owen [he's adorable btw]! Owen was at the same orphanage as Ayantu so our contact in Ethiopia promised these friends would have the opportunity to bring Ayantu the goodies we had for her. They ended up taking a short video of Ayantu when they first met her and while opening the gifts.

My reflections after seeing the video: Ayantu appears to be shut down. The look on her face in all of the photos is of deep sadness. It makes me think that the only thing going through her mind is what is going on? why am I here? and where is my mommy? As they opened the backpack of gifts, Ayantu would only sit in the orphange director's lap. And she pretty much did not show any emotion towards her new shoes, baby doll and photo album of us. The only thing that made her even move was when the bag of suckers was pulled out and opened for her to share with her other buddies. I must say she knew what to do with the sucker! She was dressed in a pink velour top with some pant leggings. That color pink looked so beautiful on her; especially contrasting her dark, brown eyes.

As I think about the journey ahead I know it will not be easy. Ayantu has pain and sadness that needs to be worked through. But Brian and I have put our trust in the living God knowing He has equipped us for all that we'll need to help Ayantu move through her sadness and live with joy and hope! Worst case scenario we have to utilize the gifts of Sahara and our dog, Petey Michael! Who couldn't smile and laugh at these two characters?!?!

Celebrations and Drama!

2009-09-10T23:24:00.012-04:00

It's been quite a whirlwind the past several weeks: planned and had Sahara's 5th Princess Birthday Party, started Kindergarten [not me...Sahara], got word that Ayantu was moved to a different branch of the orphanage she is in [she's now under full care and control with our adoption agency], planning for a special Birthday party/1 year Cancer free celebration for my Mom, and last but not least just heard from our agency that a very important document for our case will expire soon [nothing that endangers our case...just more drama and work to get the document renewed].

Whew!

I would never be able to do justice at summarizing Sahara's 5th Birthday party. Thanks to our friend, the 1eyedmonkee, we don't have to. I'm going to leave this post with a copy of our friends post to her blog processing the big event...it's hilarious...and all true! :)

"We arrived fashionably late and missed the Grand Entrance. She was already seated front and center, adorned in full Princess Aurora attire (i.e. Sleeping Beauty). It was obvious by the look on her face, she was having an out of body experience. She WAS Princess Aurora and we all just happened to be gathered on a lovely end-of-summer evening to celebrate her life.

As she sat enthroned in a balloon laden patio chair, her grandmother-acting as a minion- presented her with each bedazzled gift. Being the well-bred princess that she is, her eyes would scan the crowd for each gift giver, making eye contact and thanking them with a nod of her chin and a slow lowering of the eyelashes.

Just when it seemed that nothing else could phase her, the phone rang. We chattering woodland creatures were hushed by a wave of her hand. On the speaker phone we heard the voice of one of her other sister sovereigns (Snow White to be exact) wishing her a Happy Birthday and calling her by name. Her incredulous face and back-of-the-hand-pressed-to-the-forehead gesture was more than I could take. It was true…there is still magic.

Five years ago when she was born she had to spend some tenuous time in the neonatal unit. When we went up to the hospital to give her mom and dad a hug, I remember feeling sick to my stomach as we stepped on to that particular elevator. Just 1 year earlier, it had been the same elevator we had used to get to the floor where Best Boy lay fighting for his life.

Multiple times a day as I would go up and down, I’d share that space with new parents whose babies were just entering the fray of life. Some where having a time of it and it was obvious by the dark circles and deep wrinkles around sleepless eyes. My mind was always always asking the question, “Is it better to struggle at the beginning of life or is it harder when you’d conquered all the childhood diseases, you had 22 years of smooth sailing behind you and suddenly found yourself perched on the precipice between life and death?” There is no answer for that question. As parents I’m not sure we are ever prepared for watching our kids struggle physically or emotionally.

Watching the eyes of her grandfather sparkle as she ran over to wrap her arms around him, thanking him for the gift of swimming lessons – she turned to the crowd and in very un-princessly fashion gave a double handed fist pump. The well oiled, time proven Disney machine doing what it does so well. Making us step out of the muck of life for a few short minutes to be whisked away to lands where dreams do come true. Now 6 years later – I feel the magic again in so many ways. There she is living the Disney dream for just a day while Best Boy is embarking on his own version of “happily ever after” in LA and we are just weeks away from welcoming our 1st gbaby.

Some of birthday girl’s magic rubbed off on the Dr. for sure. We were asked to register our guess of how many circus peanuts (haven’t seen those in YEARS) were in the jar. He whispered, “64″ and I said, “Can’t be…see how there are 20 on this side alone and the jar has 4 sides…so at least 80.” So he asked that I register his official guess as 84. Guess who won the Starbucks’ gift card!! His only lament was that he’d used all the good juju on a free cup of coffee and now I’d never win the Megamillions.

But alas, I choose another path. One where I don’t stop believin’…good things can happen, dreams come true and drummers in rock bands don’t dress like this anymore. To Journey…"

Ayantu's Mama

2009-08-31T21:56:00.003-04:00

I can't stop thinking about Ayantu's Mama. I cannot imagine the feelings that must go through her mind each and every day...often. When I try to contemplate our circumstances and environment forcing Brian and I to give up caring for Sahara I can hardly breathe. We pray that Ayantu's Mama will encounter the one and only love that can fill her heart back up again some day. We pray that her spirit will somehow sense that her precious little girl will be cared for, loved and cherished. May God's peace invade her soul.

Gifts for Ayantu

2009-08-22T10:39:00.004-04:00

How cool is this: There is a family in town leaving September 2nd to pick up their 10month old son from Ethiopia. We've never even met this family, but their son is at the same orphanage [Enat Alem] as our daughter. They are going to deliver her a package of gifts from us and take pictures and videos of her! I'm so excited!! We got a little backpack and filled it with some fun things: a little baby doll, two picture books, a finger puppet, 2 containers of playdoh, and a photo album of Brian, Sahara, Petey and I. We hope it brings a big smile to her face and lets her know that she is LOVED!

As you can see from the title of this post, our new daughter's name is Ayantu [Ah-yawn-tu]. This name was given to her from by birthmother and we love it. We are going to keep it for her first name. It means "beautiful flower". We're still working on a middle name...too many options!

We hope to get assigned a court date soon, but in the meantime there are plenty of things to do! Sahara's 5th Birthday is in two weeks, she starts Kindergarten this year, and checking items off of the list for Ethiopia!

5th Best Day Ever

2009-08-18T23:52:00.003-04:00

I have 8 minutes to get this post done so it is officially recorded for our sweet little girl! Yes, that's right...today was the day! We received a call from our agency at 9:30am telling us that they had a little 2 1/2 year old girl for us. Her name is Ayantu and she is BEAUTIFUL!

This whole day is so surreal. It's hard to process the last 2 years with the emotions of one phone call. We have to be extremely sensitive with what we post about her until we pass court and she is officially ours. Brian and I both agreed this evening that we have no reservations about her and are going to call our agency in the morning and tell them that we would like to proceed with making Ayantu a part of the Knapp Family!

Yippppppppppeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! Thank you Lord for your faithfulnes. Your ways make me tremor. And the gift of being able to care for Ayantu and raise her in your ways is a privilige.

More soon...

The inevitable question

2009-08-03T15:34:00.005-04:00

So...we're on to August. With that comes the flurry of back to school thoughts, planning Sahara's 5th birthday party, saying goodbye to friends from overseas, and last minute summer fun. I cannot believe stores are putting out Halloween and Christmas items already. Uhhhgggg!

Each and every day I seem to cross paths with someone who knows our story, our journey as we wait for the next step towards receiving our daughter. The inevitable question is asked "So...any news?" Before I would have loads of information to share "well this is happening, so it slowed things down", or "this is taking place and so we're waiting to see what happens". But now, when the question is asked I get a little pit in my stomach. I don't know if it's because I don't have any news or if it's because the journey has worn me down? By the end of August we will have been waiting 12 months to receive the referral of a 1-2 year old little girl.

I knew this before but now it's even more evident than ever: I don't make the sands of time work. God's plan for this little girl's life is precious and beautiful, complicated and important, planned and fragile. We will forever have a reason to Praise God for this season in our lives. But we sure can't wait for the inevitable question to be answered!

Giving away 90%

2009-07-12T22:41:00.004-04:00

Since the beginning [not of the world but of our adoption journey] I've felt like something has been missing. I couldn't really put my finger on it nor did I have the time nor energy to figure it out anyway. I recently came across a book that I was compelled to check out. This book's author is the pastor of a church out in California. His view of God has radically changed and challenged me. Check out some of the things about this pastor's life and see if it doesn't do the same for you:

He is a pastor, husband and father of six children.
He and his wife downsized their home to 1,000 sq. feet so that others can have more.
He opts to not have a savings or retirement account so that he has to fully rely on God for his needs.
He admitted to currently making $500,000 a year, but he and his wife give away 90% of their income.
He is obsessed with Jesus.

Okay...wait a minute. The dude makes $500,000 a year and he gives away $450,000 of it? How is that possible? I believe that is what has been missing from my life. The adoption process and all of it's drama has more than comsumed me. So much so that I have not been able to recognize the needs around me. I don't want to miss another day, another moment of being available to what God may have for me and my family. I need to shift my "crazy love" for getting this phone call for our daughter. When God allows it it will happen. Until then, there's a lot of love to be spreading around and I want to give away 90% of it!

Sharing 101

2009-06-28T23:03:00.005-04:00

I'm apologizing in advance as I may be all over the place in this post. What the world...it's been almost an entire month since my last post. Has life really been that busy? Yes.

Summer has officially begun. Sahara has been enjoying every day to it's fullest. I swear all that kid knows how to do is play! Playdates, sleepovers, swimming, biking, taking care of her garden, ice cream, more playdates and more ice cream. What a life!

Our dear friends, Chris and Holley, left Saturday for Ethiopia to pick up their son, Abinet! They were to meet him for the very first time today. We are so excited for them. So many of the details of their journey are nothing short of supernatural. God has affirmed over and over again His choice of Abinet for their son. It's a beautiful thing. They will be coming home with Abinet next Saturday, July 4th. Brian gets to pick them up from the Chicago airport and bring them back to GR.

Our status? "Rumor" has it that the investigation regarding abandoned children is complete. We still don't have any details about the actual investigation itself but the fact that it is complete is good news. We were also informed that this coming Thursday, July 2nd, court cases that had been suspended due to the investigation are to be processed. That is fantastic news. We are prayerful that this will also propel referrals to come through. Please, Lord, let this be the month that we find out who our daughter is!

In other news....we finally moved all of Brian's clothes from the upstairs closet to his "new quarters" on the main floor. Now I get to have fun digging out all of Sahara's old clothes to see what will fit her baby sister! We pulled out an old bathing suit that is 2 sizes too small for Sahara the other day. We told her that we were going to put it in her baby sister's closet for her to use some day. Sahara was not happy about that at all. Hence, begins the "sharing 101" course for our almost 5 year old!!

Happy early Birthday, Honey!

2009-05-30T07:33:00.002-04:00

Monday is Brian's 41st Birthday. We thought for sure last year when we celebrated his 40th that we would have an addition to our family the following year. Not yet! But still there is much to celebrate and be thankful for. Brian...to this day I can hardly believe that God brought us together. You have taught me more than you'll ever know. You are a patient, encouraging, and supporting husband, as well as the best Father on the face of the planet. Thank you for always putting "us" first and showing Sahara what really matters.

I love you. And somehow I feel confident enough to say that by your birthday next year....we will have one more family memeber to help us celebrate you.

Happy early Birthday, Honey!

Things have escalated...

2009-05-20T12:49:00.004-04:00

Since my last post things have escalated with the investigation of abandoned children. The Ethiopian Government is now not allowing any new referrals of abandoned children or the processing of current court cases in the entire area of Addis Ababa until the investigation is complete. We still don't have many details from our agency so I don't want to post rumors or other stories that are going around. But as you can imagine our minds are spinning...and I am not sleeping well.

I know in my mind that God will work this out. In His way. Not mine. It's just hard living this news out with joy and with hope. Because in my head I'm also going "What if this...and What if that".

In the past week a few court cases have passsed of children that were not abandoned so that remains to be positive news. These kids will soon be coming home to their forever families. In the meantime we are holding on to eachother. Hoping. Waiting. Praying. And giving thanks in the best way we know how.

Here's a picture of Sahara I took Monday afternoon outside. God has truly blessed us with her!

Going on 10...

2009-05-13T14:19:00.005-04:00

When I looked at the calendar at the beginning of May I had a "moment" when I figured out that we have officially been waiting for our referral going on 10 months now. We're overdue!!!

The good news is things continue to move forward for other waiting families on the adoption front...it's just been going a lot slower than before. I believe there were 4 little ones referred to famiies last month. Yeah!!! The bad news is the government in Ethiopia has had to make some changes in regards to court processes with 4 different orphanages. One of those four orphanages is one that our agency works with. We were informed that no referrals will be given out nor will any court hearings take place on current cases from these orphanages. We're not sure what all this means, but are praying that things get resolved quickly...especially for the families it directly affects.

Fortunately, there are several other orphanages that our agency works with, so we are hoping...praying....pleading that we get our call soon! Some friends of ours that received their referral back in February have their court date tomorrow. We're wishing you all the best and God's favor guys!!! Can't wait!!

Until soon...

Dear Little One...

2009-04-28T15:12:00.004-04:00

We don't know you yet. We haven't met you. But yet we think of you every day more than you'll ever know. We want to know your age, your name, how dark your eyes are, how long your hair is, if you're still on formula or eating solid foods. Do you have a favorite color? What are the names of the wonderful people taking care of you at your orphanage. Which orphanage are you at? Are you scared? Are you healthy? What do you dream about? Do you realize that there is a Mommy, Daddy and 4 year old sister waiting to meet you, hug you, teach you, and love you forever?

We're here, little one. Waiting. As best we can. It's hard. But we'll wait as long as we have to. And soon...when it's the right time...we'll come and bring you home.

"Are you still my friend?"

2009-04-20T22:21:00.004-04:00

Today was one of those rainy days...in every sense of the matter. I was tired and didn't have a lot of energy from working all weekend. Sahara was over tired from skipping her nap yesterday and then a busy day at school this morning.

While I was giving Sahara her bath tonight she was restless and not listening very well. I told her she had one more chance to listen or she wasn't going to get a book for bed time! [Why do threats always seem to work?] She responded well as she asked me for a hug and then posed the question "are you still my friend?" I reached down, held her tight and said "Mommy will always be your friend, honey. God gave you to Daddy and I to be forever friends and family...no matter what."

That was over 2 hours ago...I'm still crying!! :)

More Than You'll Ever Know

2009-04-09T22:05:00.004-04:00

This is for all of our friends and family that have been praying for us and sending us reminders of encouragement while we endure this difficult wait:

"Somethin' brought you to my mind today
I thought about the funny ways you make me laugh
And yet I feel like it's ok to cry with you
Somethin' about just bein' with you
When I leave I feel like I've been near God
And that's the way it ought to be....

Cause you've been more than a friend to me
You fight off my enemies
Cause you've spoken the truth over my life
And you'll never know what it means to me
Just to know you've been on your knees for me
Oh you have blessed my life
More than you'll ever know

You had faith when I had none
You prayed God would bring me a brand new song
When I didn't think I could find the strength to sing
And all the while I'm hoping that I'll...
Do the kind of praying for you that you've done for me
And that's the way it ought to be

You have carried me
You have taken upon a burden that wasn't your own
And may the blessing return to you...
A hundred fold"

Thank you for carrying us. We need you.

Love, Brian and Jen

JCrew and Liya Kebede

2009-04-01T22:05:00.004-04:00

A friend of mine sent me a head's up about this today--JCrew is partnering with an International Goodwill Ambassador to offer a limited selection of her children's line that is handmade in Ethiopia from natural cotton. This woman is amazing! Liya Kebede is an Ethiopian born Mom and Goodwill Ambassador for the World Health Organization for Maternal, Newborn and Child Health. She is dedicated to raising awareness and fighting to improve the health of mothers and children in developing countries.

"LemLem", Liya's clothing line, was started in 2007 as a way to inspire economic independence in Ethiopia and to preserve the art of weaving. LemLem in Amharic means "to bloom". You can check out her line at http://www.jcrew.com/AST/Navigation/Lemlem.jsp

These are the stories that should be on the cover of People!

Culver's Turnout

2009-03-22T22:27:00.008-04:00

Last Thursday night was the Culver's Restaurant Fundraiser for our Adoption Agency. From 4-9pm Culver's genorously donated 10% of their income towards Adoption Associates, Inc. We got there around 6pm and were delighted to see that the parking lot was jam packed. So much so that we had to park in the next lot over at the Jenison Meijer's! Yippeee!! I was so excited.

Inside the line to order was to the doors and there was not one open table to sit at! Most nights that would be a reason to walk out the door in frustration. Most of us gladly stood with a tray in our hands while we waited for another family to finish their meal. Of course Brian had his eyes on a corner horseshoe table that sat close to 10 squished. As soon as it opened up he made a bee line for it and scored! It was a good thing too because we were blessed with so many friends that came out to support us.

Sahara had her first ever "Butter Burger" with fries and of course finished off the night with a custard sundae. Poor child! She's so neglected!!

Here's a picture of some of our friends that joined us that evening. Thanks everyone! We love you!

We've got 2 new friends!

2009-03-13T16:17:00.003-04:00

Two friends that are also adopting from Ethiopia just received their referrals! Yipeee!!! [Until their court cases pass I cannot use their names or the names of their kids for safety reasons.] The one family got their referral last Friday afternoon. Mom came and found me while I was working at Costco the other night. Their soon to be son is beautiful. He's currently 18 months old and has breath taking eyes. The other family have been close friends of ours for years. We share history going to the Sahara Marathon together and have journeyed life in close proximity the past 2+ years. Their referral came this past Wednesday afternoon. Sahara and I went over to their house today to see pictures. He is a little boy estimated to be 4 years old. He also has captivating eyes....literally stunning.

Their joy will have to carry us for a while! Lord willing maybe we will all get to travel to pick up our kids together?!?!?!?!?!

Please phone....RING.

Loved.

2009-03-07T12:26:00.008-05:00

How is it that God always knows just what we need all of the time? The basics? Yeah, He's got that. But I'm talking about a reminder to your soul in the midst of ongoing, neverending chaos that you are loved. And not just loved, but cherised...adored. By Him.

Since Brian and I began the adoption journey back in January 2007 it's been difficult for us to find time for eachother. We have been reminded constantly to find joy in this journey no matter how difficult it may be or get. With me working evenings and weekends to pay for the adoption, I can't remember the last time we were together with no child, no dog, no worries. Well, I know God knew that's what we needed and last night we received just that.

Our dear friends invited us over for dinner. We had a sitter for Sahara and all we were suppose to bring was a bottle of red wine and a salad. We got to our friends house and when we walked through the door it began. We were served and waited on from head to toe. They guided us into a nice cozy room where the fire was going, candles were lit, wonderful music was playing and the table was beautifully set for dinner. We started off the evening with cheeses, olives, salami, and wine. And spent the next 3 hours indulging in amazing food, ambience and conversation. Come to find out midway through the night that Keith was leaving for India the next morning. But still...he chose to sacrifice and love on us in the way that he and his wife did. God used our friends to remind us that despite the pressures, the responsibilities and the overall brokenness of this world...we are loved. Period.

Thank you Keith and Suzie. We love you dearly.

On The Horizon

2009-03-02T09:48:00.005-05:00

The months of January and February proved to be wonderful months for the lives of many orphans. Our agency was successful in placing more than a dozen children and many of these little ones will be going to their forever homes this month! Yeah!!!

We have also had a wonderful family take the lead in doing something on behalf of the formula crisis in Ethiopia. The husband of that family, as well as one of the caseworkers from our agency, will be leaving this Friday to hand deliver cases of Protein Enhanced Formula to babies in dire need. It's been amazing to see people step up and donate their time, resources and prayers on behalf of these little ones. Sahara's Pediatrician's Office as well as a great friend of ours who has her own practice donated all of their Formula samples that get brought in to their offices from Reps. All of that Formula will be departing GR Friday and Lord willing into the babies tummies early next week.

Thank you for praying that the Formula makes it their safely without any delays from Government Officials.

Last but not least...please pray for medical reports to be given on several children in Awassa, Ethiopia. Our agency informed us that they will be the next group of children to be referred!! We're praying for good news this month!!

The wait is making me weary...

2009-02-23T14:43:00.004-05:00

I needed to hear this song this morning on my way to drop Sahara off at school. This wait...along with other things in life are making me weary...

"Here I am Lord and I'm drowning
In your Sea of forgetfulnees
The chains of yesterday surround me
I yearn for peace and rest

I don't want to end up
Where you found me
And it echoes in my mind
Keeps me awake tonight

I know you've cast my sin as far as
The east is from the west
And I stand before you know
As though I've never sinned

But today I feel like
I'm just one mistake away
From You leaving me this way

Jesus, can you show me just how far,
The east is from the west?
'Cause I can't bear to see the man I've been
Rising up in me again

In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
You know just how far
The east is from the west
From one scarred hand to another

I start the day, the war begins
Endless reminding of my sin
And time and time again
Your truth is drowned out by the storm I'm in

I can't live by what I feel
About the truth your word reveals
And I'm not holding onto you
But You're holding on to me, You're holding onto me

You know just how far
The east is from the west
Just how far
From one scarred hand to another"

...thankfully when I can't hold onto Him I know He will to me.

Dinner @ Culver's-A Great Cause

2009-02-20T20:04:00.003-05:00

There is nothing the bad economy is not affecting. Even the adoption world. Our agency has struggled greatly this past year with less families taking on the financial burden of adoption as well as not as many young teens giving up their baby for adoption. With numbers down, our agency has needed to come up with some creative ways to keep the ball rolling.

On March 19, 2009 Culver's Restaurant of Jenison is partnering with our agency, Adoption Associates, Inc. That evening from 4-9pm, Culver's will give a generous donation of 10% of the sales to Adoption Associates, Inc. May we ask you to join us that evening in supporting us and them? We would be so grateful if a ton of families and friends came out and had a meal during that time. Brian, Sahara and I will be there around 6pm. Culver's is located near the corner of Chicago Drive and Cottonwood in Jenison near Meijer.

Thank you! And Thank You Culver's!!

Special Edition T-Shirt

2009-02-17T15:48:00.003-05:00

Check out this amazing T-Shirt created by a homeschooled 8th grader. This t-shirt will inspire discussion about the growing orphan crisis. "Together we can build a community committed to orphan care. We especially ask you to wear this shirt on World AIDS Orphan Day (May 7) to encourage people to join our campaign for HIV+ orphans in Ethiopia. We offer this shirt at the special price of $10. After the production costs are met, all proceeds will go directly to AHOPE." For more info. or to order one visit www.ahopestore.org

Sahara's Valentine Party

2009-02-12T16:08:00.004-05:00

Today was Sahara's Valentine's Day Party in her Pre-K Class. It was priceless. I got to stay the whole class and volunteer as the teachers needed a little help with all of the fun stations that were taking place. Before everything started, Mrs. Larson [Sahara's Teacher] started with the class prayer time. It was awesome to hear them pray for Sahara's baby sister in Ethiopia as well as another family in the class that's adopting.

The different stations in class were a riot. They got to make sugar cookies and decorate them, they made a special Valentine with a poem for the Mommy's and Daddy's, they got to put 16 valentines in their classmates special Valentine envelopes that they made earlier in the week, and played some heart games and songs.

I don't know if my heart can grow any bigger with love for Sahara. This kid amazes me!

Sahara and Aliya's Groove

2009-02-04T15:04:00.005-05:00

We had our friends Amy and her daughter Aliya over last Friday for Pizza and hanging out time. Aliya is growing up so much already. Sahara took Aliya upstairs to show off her new room where she and her baby sister will be. After a quick tour, Sahara busted the CD Player out and asked for a concert. So...enjoy the girls...in a moment you'll see who stole the show! Sorry it's sideways I don't know how to fix that!

Needed: Formula

2009-01-26T09:48:00.004-05:00

We have been informed that there is a severe shortage of Formula in Ethiopia. Most of the babies in orphanages are being fed Cow's Milk. We have many families from our adoption agency leaving soon to pick up their child who would love to bring a suitcase full of Formula to help our Ethiopian nieghbors. Once we get our referral and make travel plans, we too will plan to bring as much as we can.

If you would consider donating your left over, unopened Formula [needs to be Iron Fortified] or are willing to purchase some please contact us and we would be happy to pick it up and make sure it gets overseas.

THANK YOU, in advance.

4 year old Wonder!

2009-01-19T09:04:00.006-05:00

If you know our daughter, Sahara, I don't have to tell you how her mind works. But in the event that you don't...here's the run down: she will get up in the morning at 7am and be ready for the day [this child will NEVER NEED STARBUCKS], she will want to read books with you, chase you, play with her dog Petey, get breakfast, watch a show, write on her chalkboard, color a friend a picture, read more books, help me fold laundry, and get a snack...ALL AT THE SAME TIME! And while all of that is going on in the first 30 minutes of the day she will all of a sudden pause and ask me the most random and heartfelt questions. This was the one I got the other day..."Mama, when my baby sister gets home from Ethiopia and she lives with us, when she gets bigger will she stay with us forever?"

How beautiful is that? We hope and pray you know, sweet little girl, wherever you are today, that soon...very soon...you will be with a family forever that will love you, cherish you, play with you, teach you, and honor you. Hold on to HOPE.

With our love, Mommy, Daddy and Sahara

Progress Report

2009-01-13T14:49:00.003-05:00

The last several weeks since Christams have been a blur. I've had a lot of friends ask what our status is on the adoption and simply haven't had time to sit down and update. This is going to be a quick top ten of what's going on in our world:

1. Still Waiting at #3 on the waiting family list.
2. Attending a mandatory meeting at our adoptiong agency tomorrow [more on that later].
3. Thinking about our unknown child more and more as we anxiously await a referral.
4. Have a potential name picked out!
5. Sahara is asking very mature and amazing questions about her soon to be baby sister like "Mama, when my baby sister grows up will we get to keep her?" Yeah, I still choke up with that one.
6. Enjoyed a lovely Ethiopian meal last week catching up with some childhood neighbor friends whom are also adopting a little girl from Ethiopia using the same agency!
7. Praising God immensely as after 14 months of saving we are now fully funded for the expenses of the adoption process.
8. Beginning to collect gifts to bring for the orphanage children and their caretakers.
9. Putting together a photo album and creating a T-Shirt with our family photo on it to send to our daughter when we find out who she is.
10. Tearing up when we think back at all of the ways God has provided, protected, and propelled us forward on this journey!

Flower Girl

2008-12-26T21:24:00.006-05:00

One week ago today, Sahara was the Flower Girl in our friends wedding. It was a priceless day as I tried to get my little one ready to be beautiful. The weather was awful, but somehow everything turned out. We made it to the church on time for pictures at 3:00pm. Sahara shone brightly as the camera snapped her picture and tried to capture the beauty of only something the Bride, Groom and God can fully understand.

Leading up to the actual day, Sahara had practiced over and over throwing "air petals" from a basket to the floor. Actually, we started out with Little People and then graduated to "air petals". When it came time for her to walk down the aisle she looked so beautiful and confident. She held her head high and slowly dropped the petals to the left and right. And then she stopped! Less than half way down the aisle, she turned her head back towards the Mistress of Ceremony and shouted with a frown on her face "I'm out of petals"! Poor thing. We got her going again and she automatically reverted to throwing her "air petals".

I hope one day, our newest family member will have the honor of doing the same. Sahara will be a great teacher!

Making Progress...

2008-12-16T09:55:00.002-05:00

Finally! The paint brushes have been unburied from the basement! Last Friday Sahara spent the night at her Grandma's so Brian and I could get some much needed work done on our waiting list of projects! For 3 months I've been wanting to get one wall in the "soon to be girl's" room upstairs painted. At last it has been accomplished. I've had dreams of what the girl's room will look like for when we bring baby E home. You know...a certain shelf with pictures here, a bin with stuffed animals there...we're finally making some progress and I'm so grateful for that.

I NEED AFRICA MORE THAN AFRICA NEEDS ME!

2008-12-08T11:08:00.004-05:00

"When I think of Africa, the following images immediately come to mind: Starvation. AIDS. Child soldiers. Genocide. Sex slaves. Orphans. From there, my thoughts naturally turn to how I can help, how I can make a difference. "I am needed here," I think. "They have so little, and I have so much." It's true, there are great tragedies playing out in Africa everyday. There is often a level of suffering here that is unimaginable until you have seen it, and even then it is difficult to believe. But what is even harder is reconciling the challenges that many Africans face with the joy I see in those same people. It's a joy that comes from somewhere I cannot fathom, not within the framework that has been my life to this day.

The images spilling out of my television showed circumstances that could seemingly only equal misery, and I was fooled. I bought into the lie that circumstance defines happiness. The truth is, in Africa I find hearts full of victory, indomitable spirits. In places where despair should thrive, instead I find adults dancing and singing, and children playing soccer with a ball crafted of tied up trash. Instead of payback, I find grace. Here, weekend getaways are not options to provide relief from the pains of daily life. Relationships and faith provide joy. Love is sovereign.

My new reality… I know now that my joy should have no regard for my circumstances. I'm ashamed by my lack of faith, but at the very same moment I am excited by my new pursuit. I'm forced to redefine the meaning of having much or having little. I'm uneasy with the prospect of change and of letting go, but just the thought of freedom is liberating. I want what I have learned to trickle down from my head into my heart - I no longer want to need the "next thing" to have joy.

I'm not saying that Africa does not need our efforts. It absolutely does need our partnership. But for me, I've come to understand that I NEED AFRICA MORE THAN AFRICA NEEDS ME. Why? Because it is Africa that has taught me that possessions in my hands will never be as valuable as peace in my heart. I've learned that I don't need what I have and that I have what I need. These are just a few of this continent's many lessons. I came here to serve and yet I've found that I have so much to learn, and Africa, with all its need, has much to teach me."

The numbers game

2008-12-03T16:09:00.003-05:00

Our caseworker just got back from spending over a week in Ethiopia. We're excited to hear a report from her once she gets back into a rhythm in the office. In the meantime, we were informed today that a referral was made for a couple...a little 4 month old girl! When I found this out I went to this couple's blog. They have been waiting since March '08 for a baby girl. How they found out today was pretty cool. The wife's husband came downstairs and informed his wife that they both had messages on their cell phones from the adoption agency. Not wanting to get his hopes up he followed with "it could be about anything". They called the agency and spoke with our caseworker and inquired about her trip. She responded with "it was great...I'm still trying to adjust being back...oh, and I did get to meet your baby girl!!" Amazing!

All that said...I don't have confirmation yet, but I do believe this knocks us down to #4 on the waiting list. We'll update on that once we have the for sure number. At times all of this doesn't even seem real. I mean we are getting a room ready upstairs for the girls to share. We are thinking about names and trying our best to prepare Sahara for not being the center of attention anymore. But to really grasp the fact that very soon, we could be getting on a plane, flying to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, visiting an orphanage and bringing a little girl home with us to be our daughter and join our family is a bit surreal. God thank you for your impeccable timing with every facet of our lives. We trust you and wait on you...

36,500

2008-11-10T15:51:00.002-05:00

How many times do you hug your kids, kiss them, hold them, smile at them, tickle them, chase them, rock them, sing to them? According to a psychologist whom is an advocate for attaching with your newly adopted child, most parents will give their kids these "moments" at least 100 times per day. Oh yeah...that's when they are newborns up to age 5...that part is important! If your child gets 100 "moments" per day the entire year that adds up to 36,500 "moments" per year.

Just recently we learned that our new daughter, currently living in an orphanage, will probably only be receiving up to 10 "moments" per day by her caregiver--depending on how many children there are in the orphanage. We learned that on average, most kids in an orpahage will be lacking 36,500 "moments" per year. That's a lot of catching up to do once she gets home. How will we smother her with enough love and not smother her too much?!

If there are approximately 143 million orphans in the world today and each orphan is missing out on an average 100 "moments" per day...think about where most of these kids are in their head.

Staggering...

11-4=7

2008-10-18T09:41:00.002-04:00

There were several referrals made to some families over the past couple of days! Yahooo. We're so grateful to know that more children are being placed into a loving family home. That is also good news for us. From what I can tell, there were at least 4 referrals made in the age range we requested. So, that knocks us down from number 11 on the waiting list to at least number 7! We're getting closer!!!

A waging war

2008-10-09T15:11:00.004-04:00

Ever since we began the adoption process last November there have been unusual challenges and circumstances occurring in our every day lives. Brian and I recognize that the battle we are in is a spiritual battle, but it has been difficult to acknowledge every time something goes wrong. Yesterday, however, I was not about to let the enemy of our souls discourage me because my eyes were open.

It was almost story time at the library. Sahara loves Wednesday mornings because she gets to go the library and see her favorite story lady, Miss Michelle. I got Sahara buckled into her seat and tried to start up the car. Chug a chug a chug! Nothing. Tried it again. Chug a chug a chug! Not even close to turning over. I called Brian at work from our driveway telling him the car wouldn't start. He asked me a bunch of car questions and then I proceeded to follow his instructions to put the car into neutral and turn the key again. It started! Did I mention it was pouring rain and Sahara was screaming in the back seat because we were going to miss story time? We back out of the driveway and I head up the street towards the library. The car begins to sputter and then all of a sudden it dies. I call Brian again, tell him what happens and he tells me to get the car on the side of the road and he'll be there in about 45 minutes to help us. Did I mention it was pouring rain and Sahara was now hyperventilating because we were missing story time? I wasn't about to sit there in the car for 45 minutes so I tried the put it into the neutral thing again. It worked! I managed to get us into the library parking lot just before the car died on us again!

There's the backdrop! Yes, Brian picked us up. Yes, our car is dead. Yes, it got towed away and we have no idea what's wrong with it nor how much it will cost to get it fixed. The enemy knows me too well and wanted so badly to put me in a depressive mood and begin to panic about not having enough money to fix the car...etc, etc, etc. I did not let him alter my mood! When we got home, I proceeded to make Sahara lunch. After getting her set up to indulge in her salami sandwich, apples, and chips, I grabbed the mail from the mailbox. The only letter we had was from our adoption agency. I, of course, was thinking the worst that something was wrong with our paperwork in Ethiopia. Boy, was I way wrong! This was a short letter from the director of finances at our adoption agency. She was writing to inform us "that someone made a $1,000 dollar amount donation towards our adoption expenses and that at this time, this individual would like to remain anonymous"! Is your heart beating hard yet? Cuz' if it's not you better check your ticker!! I about fell to the floor.

There is a waging war taking place in our every day lives. Our adversary would love to make us believe that we will never get to the top of the adoption mountain we are trying to climb and that we will never have the finances in place in order to bring life and hope to another orphan child. But God is here to remind us, in the midst of all of this hard work, that it will happen in His time and He will do it in a way where all we can do is shake our heads and say "only you, Lord...thank you"!

With our love and hope,

Jen

P.S. To the anonymous individual or couple or family out there that came alongside of us in the way that you did...we don't know how to say thank you. Your financial gift has immensely decreased the burden we are carrying. May God bless you for your sacrificial gift.

This kid is gorgeous!

2008-10-06T22:12:00.004-04:00

We had the privilige of celebrating our friend Amy's adopted daughter's 1 year Birthday party on Sunday. Amy adopted Aliya from Ethiopia this past April. She has been home with Aliya for over 6 months. As you can tell by the picture...this kid is not just a regular ham bone...she is gorgeous! Brian and I got to feed Aliya her chocolate Birthday cake. What a trip watching her gum it into her mouth and enjoy every morsel.

We celebrate with Amy, Aliya and their family the joy of what God has done in and is doing through their lives.

GoJo's Ethiopian Cuisine

2008-09-26T21:58:00.004-04:00

Our friends, Chris, Holley, and Zoe Dumond went out to dinner with us the other night to celebrate our common journey in adoption. Zoe is 5 yrs. old and is one of Sahara's good friends. We have known Chris and Holley for about 8 years and have a shared passion for loving North Africans as well as longing for the issue of orphans to be erased from the history books.

We decided to try the one and only GoJo's Ethiopian Cuisine right here in Eastown. Neither families had yet to try Ethiopian food before. Sahara talked about it all day and was very excited to try food where her soon to be baby sister will come from. Here's a picture of the sample combo platter that we all tried.

It smelled amazing in the restaurant! 3 of us really liked the food. It was very spicy and left a lingering temperature rise in our mouths! The other 3 didn't like the food that well..actually...at all. I guess we need to slowly introduce this new culture of food into our lives!

Black and White

2008-09-17T14:20:00.005-04:00

Okay...Immunization shots are complete. We ended up doing them one week at a time in order to help with the cost. I did mine 2 weeks ago Wed. and Brian did his last week Wed. We both got a bit queasy and had some nice sweating spells the following day. Other than that no real issues.

Sahara has been doing wonderfully at preschool. We are so proud of how well she has jumped in and adjusted to a new routine. She loves her teachers, Mrs. Larson and Mrs. Lugo. And has already made some new friends. Mrs. Larson asked Sahara the other day if she had any brothers or sisters to which she replied "I'm getting a baby sister from Ethiopia"! I beamed with joy. That day Mrs. Larson asked the kids to pray for Sahara's baby sister coming from Ethiopia. Very cool.

The school that Sahara is attending is very diverse. I love seeing all of the different colored children walking in with their Moms and Dads. And then it hit me...Sahara doesn't even look at the different colored skin. She sees a kid as a kid. Simple. Pure. No Black. No White. Just a kid. And an opportunity to make a friend and share a laugh. Wow. Jesus really knew what He was saying when He told us to have the faith of a child.

No referral news or updates on the adoption end. We are waiting with anticipation and beginning our project list of things to get done before our little girl comes home. Brian is so happy with the project list! He may actually long for heaven more than ever before...simply so the projects can end!!!

September Change Challenge

2008-09-07T21:44:00.006-04:00

We are finally so much closer than we ever thought we'd be in the adoption process! Our documents are in Ethiopia and we are awaiting the day we get the call for our referral--the child God has chosen to become a part of our family--no longer an orphan. Now we anticiapte receiving that call in the next 3-6 months!

EVERY 18 SECONDS ANOTHER CHILD BECOMES AN ORPHAN

We have spent over $10,000 preparing all of our official documents to get overseas. It will take an additional $14,000 to bring our new daughter home. At this point we have been able to pay for each invoice of the adoption through Jen's job at Costco. As we prepare to bring our daughter home, we recognize that it is time for us to invite our friends and family to be a part of this journey with us. Due to the economy, back to school agendas and other misc. issues, we are choosing not to host an adoption fundraising dinner. However, we have created a simple opportunity to ask you to support our adoption. Throughout the month of September, we would like to challenge you, and especially any kids in your family, to fill a jar with loose change. Loose change is laying everywhere in our homes: our dirty laundry, nightstand junk drawer, couch cushions, and yes--the inevitable--washing machine. We would be so grateful if every time you picked up a penny and put it in a jar you thought of an orphan somewhere in the world and prayed for him/her.

THERE ARE 143 MILLION ORPHANS IN THE WORLD TODAY

Brian and I have recently been challenged by some dear friends to let go of the grip that we have on the adoption process--the feeling that we have to accomplish this on our own. So, here we are, asking you to join us. And we are thanking you in advance for praying for our family as we wait for that special day when our phone rings. And thanking you for praying for our new daughter--that God would continue to favor her life and her physical body as she continues to wait for a family.

With great hope and love from Brian, Jen and Sahara

Needed: Lots of Band Aids

2008-08-28T21:34:00.004-04:00

Just now remembering to call and get an appointment for all of the Immunization Shots that Brian and I will need to get prior to our travel to pick up our daughter. [Thank You, Scott Family!] Called our Insurance Company...and of course they don't cover any of these. Called the Kent County Health Department and here is what Brian and I are scheduled to get next Wednesday at 10:15 in the morning:

Hepatitis A $29
Hepatitis B $35
Typhoid $49
Measles $57
Menengitis $100
Yellow Fever $95

That's per person. So that's a grand total of $730! Wow! Big slap in the face. But I'm reminded again today that this whole journey is not a "faith" journey, but rather a "trust" journey. God has provided over and over again so I'm going to do something difficult for me and trust that He will do it again!

Think of us Wednesday morning...that's 12 OUCHES and 12 BAND AIDS!!

It made it!

2008-08-18T21:21:00.003-04:00

We received an email from our agency today saying our Dossier made it to Ethiopia last Friday! Our understanding is that the documents are there and are currently being translated into Amheric--Ethiopia's main language. We have 11 families ahead of us all adopting a child in the same age range we requested.

So...the wait begins.

Right now, I wouldn't trade this part of the process!

We need a breather! Espcecially as Sahara starts PreK on September 2nd and turns 4 years old on September 7th.

Where has the time gone!

Jen

To Ethiopia...and Beyond!!

2008-08-08T14:27:00.005-04:00

Monday morning will be a huge day for our family! Sahara and I will get up and drive out to Jenison to deliver our payment of $4,478 to get our Dossier overseas to Ethiopia. We already have everything in place so that when I hand in our check our Agency will be able to Fed-Ex our documents overseas that day! I can hardly believe we are to this point. And I can honestly say this has been one of the most difficult journeys of my life thus far. But, fortunately, God has been affirming this decision left and right along the way and now we can sit back and breathe easier while we wait! What are we waiting for, you ask? Within the next 4-6 months our phone will ring and on the other line will be our Ethiopian Program Manager. She will be relaying some of the best news of our lives--that they have a referral for us! At that moment we will know who our Ethiopian daughter will be--her name, we will get a picture of her, and a few medical records. We cannot wait!

God has been so gracious to us and has provided every step of the way. Soon, there will be one less fatherless child in this world.

On our knees,

Jen and Brian

The Assistant Stork

2008-07-29T14:33:00.002-04:00

Okay...$353.60 later and our Dossier is officially on it's way to The Assistant Stork. She should receive it tomorrow and then will hand deliver it to the Department of State in Washington, DC as well as the Embassy of Ethiopia to have our documents authenticated. The turn around on this process should be about one week or more. Once complete, The Assisant Stork will turn around and send our Dossier back to us and when we get it we will drive it out to our Adoption Agency. Along with our Dossier, we will be bringing 12 passport photos, summary's of 2 books we have read, and a check for $4,478 which will get our Dossier sent over to Ethiopia.

Hokey Pete's! This is crazy! We are really moving forward.

More soon!

Oh MyLanta

2008-07-11T23:40:00.002-04:00

Okay...as I said in the previous post yesterday..."we're still waiting but we'll see what God's plans are"...WE GOT OUR DOCUMENT [I-600A] IN THE MAIL TODAY! TWO MONTHS EARLY! I'M FLIPPING OFF THE WALLS I'M SO EXCITED! WHEN I GET MORE GROUNDED I'LL EXPLAIN MORE WHAT'S NEXT. JUST KNOW THAT THIS IS VERY GOOD NEWS AND WE'RE ON TO THE LAST STEP.

THANK YOU JESUS! THANK YOU FOR YOUR FAVOR IN THIS WHOLE JOURNEY!

Life has been full

2008-07-10T21:54:00.008-04:00

I can't believe it's been 2 weeks since I've added a post. Life sure has been full around here. Between friends in town from Spain, 4th of July Celebrations, continuing with the adoption paperwork pursuit and my Mom starting Chemotherapy these last couple weeks have really been busy.

Tonight we spent the night with our friend Amy who adopted a baby girl from Ethiopia. They made a posting earlier on our blog because Aliya is just so darn cute you can't stand it. Seeing her tonight it's even worse. And I have proof of that! My husband would not stop holding Aliya. Every chance he got he was willing to snuggle up with this ham bone! We walked with Amy, Aliya and our friends in town from Spain to Jersey Junction. Ice Cream was consumed, waffle cones were crunched and I believe everyone left happy!

Update on us and the adoption process: we're still waiting! We don't anticipate moving on to our last step until mid to late August, but we'll see what God's plans are.

If you would join us in praying for the following two things:

1. My Mom just began Chemotherapy treatment today. Please pray that in the course of the next 3-4 days the side effects would be minimal and manageable. She has three more Chemo sessions over the course of the next 11 weeks.

2. A family in the process of adopting from Ethiopia just received their referral on June 2nd for a boy. They accepted the referral and had just received a court date to move things closer to a travel date. Three days ago, the Vaz Family received word that their new son was in critical condition. They passed the word out for people to pray, but their little boy went to be with Jesus today. Please lift this family up during this very difficult time.

Thank you for your prayers. Enjoy the pictures!

Jen

We're waiting....she's waiting too!

2008-06-26T14:18:00.006-04:00

So many people ask how difficult it is to just wait? Well...yes it's not easy, but the one thing that helps my wait is knowing that there's a little girl somewhere in Ethiopia also waiting. Waiting to be loved. Forever. By the same people every day. She wants to know that they will be there. That they will not abandon her. That she is safe. That she will be fed. Clothed. Bathed. Have a story read to her. Have her first ice cream cone from Jersey Junction!

So...we will wait. And we will press hard into all of the last things we need to accomplish so that we can someday meet this little one that will forever be a part of our family. Thank you, Jesus, for this very humbling experience. And thank you for protecting this little one until the day that we can meet her and hold her for the very first time.

Oh...and the picture above is Sahara on her swingset in the backyard...waiting to share it with her baby sister!!