The next step.

I remember going to one of the girls I feel safe with and trust in our small group. I spoke with her briefly and asked her to please pray for clarity for Brian and I. She asked why and I told her the scoop on Juliana and shared with her that I believed God was calling us to adopt again. I remember telling her that we may be reading this wrong-that one of Brian's biggest gifts is "networking" and perhaps God's brought this situation to our attention because Brian will know the right people who's suppose to be open to this.

Brian and I connected a few days later. I was off of work that night and sat him down so we could share our hearts. I went first and of course, I was all over the "we're being called to do this! God has this door wide open and it's not even beginning to swing closed." I also remember saying "honey, it doesn't get any more biblical than this"! Then it was Brian's turn. He shared that he didn't know but also had concerns about Juliana's developmental delays. What would that look like for our family? God had already entrusted Sahara and Ayantu to us. Could we be good parents to a third child as well knowing she would have special needs? His objective thoughts were needed and squelched my compassionate heart down a few notches! And then, Brian threw me for a loop! And I could so tell that God was at work in this man's heart!

He mentioned that with Thanksgiving coming up in a few weeks, perhaps one of us could go and spend a few days with Juliana. He said it might be good for us to see first hand where she's at physically and that God might help us make a decision through that trip!

What? Are you kidding me? Okay, this is not my husband! Where did he go? God was changing his heart before my very eyes and I was falling in love all over again! [Sorry for the sap!] I had a huge desire to be the one to go. But as we talked about it, God really impressed upon me that He needed to work this out through Brian and not me. I can often be too passionate about things and not be able to objectively think things through. So I told him that I would stay back with Sahara and Ayantu and that we needed to contact the couple caring for Juliana right away to let them know what we were thinking.