We will have the privilege of meeting Ayantu's birthmom, Rahel, while in Ethiopia. It's pretty amazing and humbling to think about this potential encounter. First and foremost to think that she's willing to do this and secondly to think about what it will take to get her in the area where we will be. She lives in a different city which is several hours away from the main capital, Addis Ababa.
I have put together a photo album of pictures for Rahel that she can keep. They're not only of our immediate family--Brian, Sahara, myself, our dog Petey, Ayantu's bedroom--but also pictures we have received of Ayantu. Can you imagine giving your child up for adoption and never having a memory of him/her? These pictures of Ayantu will be the only photos she's ever had of her.
I've also come up with a list of questions to ask Rahel. Let me know if you can think of anything else that may be helpful for us to know in the future for Ayantu:
1. How did you and Ayantu's birthfather meet?
2. Are there any family medical issues we should know about?
3. What are Ayantu's Grandparents' names?
4. What was Ayantu like as a baby?
5. What made you choose her name?
6. What are your hopes and dreams for Ayantu?
7. Does Ayantu have any other family members alive? Aunt's, Uncles, Cousins?
8. What are some of your favorite things/intersts/favorite color/favorite food? Is there anything specific we can share with Ayantu about you someday?
9. Are there any special community events important to you that we can share with Ayantu?
Hard stuff.
3 comments:
It seems as if BT may be left handed. I wish I asked that. I also asked where he was born (Like the location in the house) (I was able to see where he was born - so cool), what did he look like when he was born, what was he like as a baby, who do you think he looks like, If you email me heather_vaz@yahoo.com I can send you our word document. I am so glad I had it typed up so it was ready and we did not have to think about it on the trip. I also had written what I wanted to tell his mom about us so I would not forget. Meeting the birth family is life changing! Enjoy it.
If you get the chance I would recommend videotaping the conversation. It will be a great keepsake for Ayantu to have someday.
You might also ask if there were any special songs or rituals she used to calm Ayantu when she was upset.
What a fabulous opportunity. I wish I could have this for our girls. I asked both M and T what they would want to know from their birthmothers if they had the chance to ask. They are thinking about it, and I will let you know what they say.
We had Kia's mom write Kia a letter and then we had it translated. When Kia gets older we will give it to her.
-lindsey
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