What do I know?

So I've been thinking about meeting Ayantu for the first time like crazy. Last night @ work it consumed me. What will her reaction be? I know she knows what we look like from the pictures we sent but, will she like us? Will she want us to be someone else? Will she understand our love for her? What if she freaks and she cries and doesn't want to enter into a relationship with us?

These questions, along with many others have deepened my understanding of perhaps how God felt about me long ago. There was a point in my life when I didn't even really know God existed, let alone that He sincerely wanted to know me. There was a time when I would hear people use language about God and I would run like crazy from having to be a part of that conversation. I didn't get it. I didn't understand His desire to know me and me Him.

These past few days thinking about the possibilities of Ayantu's reactions to us have really heightened my awareness of the ways in which I probably responded to God way back. I'm so thankful that He didn't give up on me. I'm so thankful that He pursued me for so many years. And I'm so grateful that I now have the privilege to respond with that same kind of love and grace and mercy to Ayantu's new journey as a part of our family!